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etc。； and theres no end to it。 those parts of the book dealing with music and the other arts are much more interesting。 some of the people mentioned are schumann； clara wieck； hector berlioz； johannes brahms； beethoven； joachim； richard wagner； hans von bulow； anton rubinstein； frederic chopin； victor hugo； honore de balzac； hiller； hummel； czerny； rossini； cherubini； paganini； mendels… sohn； etc。； etc。
liszt appears to have been a decent man； very generous and modest； though exceptionally vain。 he helped others； put art above all else； was extremely fond of cognac and women； couldnt bear the sight of tears； was a gentleman； couldnt refuse anyone a favor； wasnt interested in money and cared about religious freedom and the world。
yours； anne
m。 frank
314 anne frank
tuesday； june 13； 1944
dearest kit； another birthday has gone by； so im now fifteen。 i received quite a few gifts：
springers five…volume art history book； a set of underwear； two belts； a handkerchief； two jars of yogurt； a jar of jam； two honey cookies （small）； a botany book from father and mother； a gold bracelet from margot； a sticker album from the van daans； biomalt and sweet peas from dussel； candy from miep； candy and notebooks from bep； and the high point： the book maria theresa and three slices of full…cream cheese from mr。 kugler。 peter gave me a lovely bouquet of peonies； the poor boy had put a lot of effort into finding a present； but nothing quite worked out。
the invasion is still going splendidly； in spite of the miserable weather …… pouring rains； gale winds and high seas。
yesterday churchill； smuts； eisenhower and arnold visited the french villages that the british have captured and liberated。 churchill was on a torpedo boat that shelled the coast。 uke many men； he doesnt seem to know what fear is …… an enviable trait！
from our position here in fort annex； its difficult to gauge the mood of the dutch。
no doubt many people are glad the idle （！） british have finally rolled up their sleeves and gotten down to work。 those who keep claim… ing they dont want to be occupied by the british dont realize how unfair theyre being。 their line of reasoning boils down to this： england must fight； struggle and sacri… fice its sons to liberate holland and the other occupied countries。 after that the british shouldnt remain in hol… land：
they should offer their most abject apologies to all the occupied countries； restore the dutch east indies to its rightful owner and then return； weakened and impoverished； to england。 what a bunch of idiots。 and yet； as ive already said； many dutch people can be counted among their ranks。 what would have bee of holland and its neighbors if
england had signed a peace treaty with germany； as its had ample opportunity to do？
holland would have bee german； and that would have been the end of that！
all those dutch people who still look down on the british； scoff at england and its government of old fogies； call the english cowards； yet hate the germans； should be given a good shaking； the way youd plump up a pillow。 maybe that would straighten out their jumbled brains！
wishes； thoughts； accusations and reproaches are swirling around in my head。 im not really as conceited as many people think； i know my various faults and shortings better than anyone else； but theres one difference： i also know that i want to change； will change and already have changed greatly！
why is it； i often ask myself； that everyone still thinks im so pushy and such a know…it…all？ am i really so arrogant？ am i the one whos so arrogant； or are they？
it sounds crazy； i know； but im not going to cross out that last sentence； because its not as crazy as it seems。 mrs。 van daan and dussel； my two chief accusers； are known to be totally unintelligent and； not to put too fine a point on it； just plain 〃stupid〃！ stupid people usually cant bear it when others do something better than they do； the best examples of this are those two dummies； mrs。 van daan and dussel。 mrs。
van d。 thinks im stupid because i dont suffer so much from this ailment as she does； she thinks im pushy because shes even pushier； she thinks my dresses are too short because hers are even shorter； and she thinks im such a know…it…all because she talks twice as much as i do about topics she knows nothing about。 the same goes for dussel。 but one of my favorite sayings is 〃where theres smoke theres fire；〃 and i readily admit im a know…it…all。
whats so difficult about my personality is that i scold and curse myself much more than anyone else does； if mother adds her advice； the pile of sermons bees so thick that i despair of ever getting through them。 then i talk back and start contradicting everyone until the old famthar anne refrain inevitably crops up again：
〃no one understands me！”
this phrase is part of me； and as unlikely as it may seem； theres a kernel of truth in it。 sometimes im so deeply buried under self…reproaches that i long for a word of fort to help me dig myself out again。 if only i had someone who took my feelings seriously。 alas； i havent yet found that person； so the search must go on。
i know youre wondering about peter； arent you； kit？ its true； peter loves me； not as a girlfriend； but as a friend。 his affection grows day by day； but some mysterious force is holding us back； and i dont know what it is。
sometimes i think my terrible longing for him was overexaggerated。 but thats not true； because if im unable to go to his room for a day or two； i long for him as desperately as i ever did。 peter is kind and good； and yet i cant deny that hes disappointed me in many ways。 i especially dont care for his dislike of religion； his table conversations and various things of that nature。 still； im firmly convinced that well stick to our agreement never to quarrel。 peter is peace…loving； tolerant and extremely easygoing。 he lets me say a lot of things to him that hed never accept from his mother。 hes making a determined effort to remove the blots from his copybook and keep his affairs in order。 yet why does he hide his innermost self and never allow me access？ of course； hes much more closed than i am； but i know from experience