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he got all fired up。 〃thats not true； anne。 oh no； i wont let you even think that about me！”
just then somebody called us。
father did talk to him； he told me monday。 〃your father thought our friendship might turn into love；〃 he said。 〃but i told him wed keep ourselves under control。”
father wants me to stop going upstairs so often； but i dont want to。 not just because i like being with peter； but because ive said i trust him。 i do trust him； and i want to prove it to him； but ill never be able to if i stay downstairs out of distrust。
no； im going！
in the meantime； the dussel drama has been resolved。 saturday evening at dinner he
apologized in beautiful dutch。 mr。 van daan was immediately reconciled。 dussel must have spent all day practicing his speech。
sunday； his birthday； passed without incident。 we gave him a bottle of good wine from 1919； the van daans （who can now give their gift after all） presented him with a jar of piccalilli and a package of razor blades； and mr。 kugler gave him a jar of lemon syrup （to make lemonade）； miep a book； little martin； and bep a plant。 he treated everyone to an egg。
yours； anne
m。 frank
wednesday； may 3； 1944
dearest kitty；
first the weekly news！ were having a vacation from politics。 theres nothing； and i mean absolutely nothing； to report。 im also gradually starting to believe that the invasion will e。 after all； they cant let the russians do all the dirty work；
actually； the russians arent doing anything at the moment either。
mr。 kleiman es to the office every morning now。 he got a new set of springs for peters divan； so peter will have to get to work reupholstering it； not surprisingly； he isnt at all in the mood。 mr。 kleiman also brought some flea powder for the cats。
have i told you that our boche has disappeared？ we havent seen hide nor hair of her since last thursday。 shes probably already in cat heaven； while some animal lover has turned her into a tasty dish。 perhaps some girl who can afford it will be wearing a cap made of boches fur。 peter is heartbroken。
for the last two weeks weve been eating lunch at eleven…thirty on saturdays； in the mornings we have to make do with a cup of hot cereal。 starting tomorrow itll be like this every day； that saves us a meal。 vegetables are still very hard to e by。 this afternoon we had rotten boiled lettuce。 ordinary lettuce； spinach and boiled let… tuce； thats all there is。 add to that rotten potatoes； and you have a meal fit for a king！
i hadnt had my period for more than two months； but it finally started last sunday。
despite the mess and bother； im glad it hasnt deserted me。
as you can no doubt imagine； we often say in despair； 〃whats the point of the war？
why； oh； why cant people live together peacefully？ why all this destruction？〃
the question is understandable； but up to now no one has e up with a satisfactory answer。 why is england manufacturing bigger and better airplanes and bombs and at the same time churning out new houses for reconstruction？ why are millions spent on the war each day； while not a penny is available for medical science； artists or the poor？ why do people have to starve when mountains of food are rotting away in other parts of the world？ oh； why are people so crazy？
i dont believe the war is simply the work of politicians and capitalists。 oh no； the mon man is every bit as guilty； otherwise； people and nations would have re… belled long ago！ theres a destructive urge in people； the urge to rage； murder and kill。 and until all of humanity； without exception； undergoes a metamorphosis； wars will continue to be waged； and everything that has been carefully built up； cultivated and grown will be cut down and destroyed； only to start allover again！
ive often been down in the dumps； but never desperate。 i look upon our life in hiding as an interesting adventure； full of danger and romance； and every privation as an amusing addition to my diary。 ive made up my mind to lead a different life from other girls； and not to bee an ordinary housewife later on。 what im experiencing here is a good beginning to an interesting life； and thats the reason …… the only reason …… why i have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments。
im young and have many hidden qualities； im young and strong and living through a big adventure； im right in the middle of it and cant spend all day plaining because its impossible to have any fun！ im blessed with many things： happiness； a cheerful disposition and strength。 every day i feel myself maturing； i feel liberation drawing near； i feel the beauty of nature and the goodness of the people around me。 every day i think what a fascinating and amusing adventure this is！ with all that； why should i despair？
yours； anne
m。 frank
friday； may 5； 1944
dear kitty；
fathers unhappy with me。 after our talk on sunday he thought id stop going upstairs every evening。 he wont have any of that 〃knutscherej〃 ＇ necking＇ going on。 i cant stand that word。 talking about it was bad enough …… why does he have to make me feel bad too！ ill have a word with him today。 margot gave me some good advice。
heres more or less what id like to say：
i think you expect an explanation from me； father； so ill give you one。 youre disap… pointed in me； you expected more restraint from me； you no doubt want me to act the way a fourteen…year…old is supposed to。 but thats where youre wrong！
since weve been here； from july 1942 until a few weeks ago； i havent had an easy time。 if only you knew how much i used to cry at night； how unhappy and despondent i was； how lonely i felt； youd understand my wanting to go upstairs！ ive now reached the point where i dont need the support of mother or anyone else。 it didnt happen overnight。 ive struggled long and hard and shed many tears to bee as independent as i am now。 you can laugh and refuse to believe me； but i dont care。 i know im an independent person； and i dont feel i need to account to you for my actions。 im only telling you this because i dont want you to think im doing things behind your back。 but theres only one person im accountable to； and thats me。
when i was having problems； e