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rs and my face was as red as a lobster。 so after taking down some water for margot； i went back up to get a little fresh air。 for the sake of appearances； i first went and stood beside the van daans window before going to peters room。 he was standing on the left side of the open window； so i went over to the right side。 its much easier to talk next to an open window in semidarkness than in broad daylight； and i think peter felt the same way。 we told each other so much； so very much； that i cant repeat it all。 but it felt good； it was the most won… derful evening ive ever had in the annex。 ill give you a brief description of the various subjects we touched on。
first we talked about the quarrels and how i see them in a very different light these days； and then about how weve bee alienated from our parents。 i told peter about mother and father and margot and myself。 at one point he asked； 〃you always give each other a good…night kiss； dont you？”
〃one？ dozens of them。 you dont； do you？”
〃no； ive never really kissed anyone。”
〃not even on your birthday？〃
〃yeah； on my birthday i have。”
we talked about how neither of us really trusts our parents； and how his parents love each other a great deal and wish hed confide in them； but that he doesnt want to。
how i cry my heart out in bed and he goes up to the loft and swears。 how margot and i have only recently gotten to know each other and yet still tell each other very little； since were always together。 we talked about every imaginable thing； about trust； feelings and ourselves。 oh； kitty； he was just as i thought he would be。
then we talked about the year 1942； and how different we were back then； we dont even recognize ourselves from that period。 how we couldnt stand each other at first。
hed thought i was a noisy pest； and id quickly concluded that he was nothing special。
i didnt understand why he didnt flirt with me； but now im glad。 he also mentioned how he often used to retreat to his room。 i said that my noise and exuberance and his silence were two sides of the same coin； and that i also liked peace and quiet but dont have anything for myself alone； except my diary； and that everyone would rather see the back of me； starting with mr。 dussel； and that i dont always want to sit with my parents。 we discussed how glad he is that my parents have children and how glad i am that hes here。
how i now understand his need to withdraw and his relationship to his parents； and how much id like to help him when they argue。
〃but youre always a help to me！〃 he said。
〃how？〃 i asked； greatly surprised。
〃by being cheerful。”
that was the nicest thing he said all evening。 he also told me that he didnt mind my ing to his room the way he used to； in fact； he liked it。 i also told him that all of fathers and mothers pet names were meaningless； that a kiss here and there didnt automatically lead to trust。 we also talked about doing things your own way； the diary； loneliness； the difference between everyones inner and outer selves； my mask； etc。
it was wonderful。 he must have e to love me as a friend； and； for the time being； thats enough。 im so grateful and happy； i cant find the words。 i must apolo… gize； kitty； since my style is not up to my usual standard today。 ive just written whatever came into my head！
i have the feeling that peter and i share a secret。 whenever he looks at me with those eyes； with that smile and that wink； its as if a light goes on inside me。 i hope things will stay like this and that well have many； many more happy hours together。
your grateful and happy anne monday； march 20； 1944
dearest kitty；
this morning peter asked me if id e again one evening。 he swore i wouldnt be disturbing him； and said that where there was room for one； there was room for two。
i said i couldnt see him every evening； since my parents didnt think it was a good idea； but he thought i shouldnt let that bother me。 so i told him id like to e some saturday evening and also asked him if hed let me know when you could see the moon。
〃sure；〃 he said； 〃maybe we can go downstairs and look at the moon from there。〃 i agreed； im not really so scared of burglars。
in the meantime； a shadow has fallen on my happiness。 for a long time ive had the feeling that margot likes peter。 just how much i dont know； but the whole situation is very unpleasant。 now every time i go see peter im hurting her； without meaning to。
the funny thing is that she hardly lets it show。 i know id be insanely jealous； but margot just says i shouldnt feel sorry for her。
〃i think its so awful that youve bee the odd one out；〃 i added。
〃im used to that；〃 she replied； somewhat bitterly。
i dont dare tell peter。 maybe later on； but he and i need to discuss so many other things first。
mother slapped me last night； which i deserved。 i mustnt carry my indifference and contempt for her too far。 in spite of everything； i should try once again to be friendly and keep my remarks to myself！
even pim isnt as nice as he used to be。 hes been trying not to treat me like a child； but now hes much too cold。 well just have to see what es of it！ hes warned me that if i dont do my algebra； i wont get any tutoring after the war。 i could simply wait and see what happens； but id like to start again； provided i get a new book。
thats enough for now。 i do nothing but gaze at peter； and im filled to overflowing！
yours； anne
m。 frank
evidence of margots goodness。 i received this today； march 20； 1944：
anne； yesterday when i said i wasnt jeal… ous of you； i wasnt being entirely honest。
the situation is this： im not jealous of either you or peter。 im just sorry i havent found anyone willi whom to share my thoughts and feelings； and im not likely to in the near future。 but thats why i wish； from the bottom of my heart； that you will both be able to place your trust in each other。 youre already missing out on so much here； things other people take for granted。
on the other hand； im certain id never have gotten as far with peter； because i think id need to feel very close to a person before i could share my thoughts。 id want to have the feeling that he understood me through