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losing your virtue doesnt matter; as long as you know that for as long as you live youll have someone at your side who understands you; and who doesnt have to be shared with anyone else!
yours; anne
m。 frank
at the moment; mothers grouching at me again; shes clearly jealous because i talk to mrs。 van daan more than to her。 what do i care!
i managed to get hold of peter this afternoon; and we talked for at least forty…five minutes。 he wanted to tell me something about himself; but didnt find it easy。 he finally got it out; though it took a long time。 i honestly didnt know whether it was better for me to stay or to go。 but i wanted so much to help him! i told him about bep and how tactless our mothers are。 he told me that his parents fight constantly; about politics and cigarettes and all kinds of things。 as ive told you before; peters very shy; but not too shy to admit that hed be perfectly happy not to see his parents for a year or two。 〃my father isnt as nice as he looks;〃 he said。 〃but in the matter of the cigarettes; mothers absolutely right。〃
i also told him about my mother。 but he came to fathers defense。 he thought he was a 〃terrific guy。”
tonight when i was hanging up my apron after doing the dishes; he called me over and asked me not to say anything downstairs about his parents having had another argument and not being on speaking terms。 i promised; though id already told margot。
but im sure margot wont pass it on。
〃oh no; peter;〃 i said; you dont have to worry about me。 ive learned not to blab everything i hear。 i never repeat what you tell me。”
he was glad to hear that。 i also told him what terrible gossips we are; and said; 〃margots quite right; of course; when she says im not being honest; because as much as i want to stop gossiping; theres nothing i like better than discussing mr。 dussel。”
〃its good that you admit it;〃 he said。 he blushed; and his sincere pliment almost embarrassed me too。
then we talked about 〃upstairs〃 and 〃downstairs〃 some more。 peter was really rather surprised to hear that dont like his parents。 〃peter;〃 i said; 〃you know im always honest; so why shouldnt i tell you this as well? we can see their faults too。”
i added; 〃peter; id really like to help you。 will you let me? youre caught in an awkward position; and i know; even though you dont say anything; that it upsets you。”
〃oh; your help is always wele!”
〃maybe itd be better for you to talk to father。 you can tell him anything; he wont pass it on。”
〃i know; hes a real pal。”
〃you like him a lot; dont you?”
peter nodded; and i continued; 〃well; he likes you too; you know!”
he looked up quickly and blushed。 it was really touching to see how happy these few words made him。
〃you think so?〃 he asked。
〃yes;〃 i said。 〃you can tell from the little things he lets slip now and then。”
then mr。 van daan came in to do some dictating。
peters a 〃terrific guy;〃 just like father!
yours; anne
m。 frank
friday; march 3;1944
my dearest kitty;
when i looked into the candle tonight; i felt calm and happy again。 it seems grandma is in that candle; and its grandma who watches over and protects me and makes me feel happy again。 but。 。 。 theres someone else who governs all my moods and thats。 。
。 peter。 i went to get the potatoes today; and while i was standing on the stairway with my pan full; he asked; 〃what did you do during the lunch break?”
i sat down on the stairs; and we began to talk。 the potatoes didnt make it to the kitchen until five…fifteen (an hour after id gone to get them)。 peter didnt say anything more about his parents; we just talked about books and about the past。 oh; he gazes at me with such warmth in his eyes; i dont think it will take much for me to fall in love with him。
he brought the subject up this evening。 i went to his room after peeling potatoes and remarked on how hot it was。 〃you can tell the temperature by looking at margot and me; because we turn white when its cold and red when its hot。〃 i said。
〃in love?〃 he asked。
〃why should i be in love?〃 it was a pretty silly answer (or; rather; question)。
〃why not?〃 he said; and then it was time for dinner。
what did he mean? today i finally managed to ask him whether my chatter bothered him。 all he said was; 〃oh; its fine with me!〃 i cant tell how much of his reply was due to shyness。
kitty; i sound like someone whos in love and can talk about nothing but her dearest
darling。 and peter is a darling。 will i ever be able to tell him that? only if he thinks the same of me; but im the kind of person you have to treat with kid gloves; i know that all too well。
and he likes to be left alone; so i dont know how much he likes me。 in any case; were getting to know each other a little better。 i wish we dared to say more。 but who knows; maybe that time will e sooner than i think!
once or twice a day he gives me a knowing glance; i wink back; and were both happy。 it seems crazy to talk about his being happy; and yet i have the overwhelming feeling he thinks the same way i do。
yours; anne
m。 frank
saturday; march 4; 1944
dear kitty;
this is the first saturday in months that hasnt been tiresome; dreary and boring。 the reason is peter。 this morning as i was on my way to the attic to hang up my apron; father asked whether i wanted to stay and practice my french; and i said yes。 we spoke french together for a while and i explained something to peter; and then we worked on our english。 father read aloud from dickens; and i was in seventh heaven; since i was sitting on fathers chair; close to peter。
i went downstairs at quarter to eleven。 when i went back up at eleven…thirty; peter was already waiting for me on the stairs。 we talked until quarter to one。 whenever i leave the room; for example after a meal; and peter has a chance and no one else can hear; he says; 〃bye; anne; see you later。”
oh; im so happy! i wonder if hes going to fall in love with me after all? in any case; hes a nice boy; and you have no idea how good it is to talk to him!
mrs。 van d。 thinks its all right for me to talk to peter; but today she asked me teasingly; 〃can i trust you two up there?