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nor can i plain about the lack of candy； everyone had dipped into their last reserves。 as the benjamin of the annex； i got more than i deserve。
yours； anne
tuesday； june 15； 1943
dearest kitty；
heaps of things have happened； but i often think im boring you with my dreary chitchat and that youd just as soon have fewer letters。 so ill keep the news brief。
mr。 voskuijl wasnt operated on for his ulcer after all。 once the doctors had him on the operating table and opened him up； they saw that he had cancer。 it was in such an advanced stage that an operation was pointless。 so they stitched him up again； kept him in the hospital for three weeks； fed him well and sent him back home。 but they made an unforgivable error： they told the poor man exactly what was in store for him。
he cant work anymore； and hes just sitting at home； surrounded by his eight children； brooding about his approaching death。 i feel very sorry for him and hate not being able to go out； otherwise； id visit him as often as i could and help take his mind off matters。 now the good man can no longer let us know whats being said and done in the warehouse； which is a disaster for us。 mr。 voskuijl was our greatest source of
help and suppor when it came to safety measures。 we miss him very much。
next month its our turn to hand over our radio to the authorities。 mr。 kleiman has a small set hidden in his home that hes giving us to replace our beautiful cabinet radio。
its a pity we have to turn in our big philips； but when youre in hiding； you cant afford to bring the authorities down on your heads。 of course； well put the 〃baby”
radio upstairs。 whats a clandestine radio when there are already clandestine jews and clandestine money？
all over the country people are trying to get hold of an old radio that they can hand over instead of their 〃morale booster。〃 its true： as the reports from outside grow worse and worse； the radio； with its wondrous voice； helps us not to lose heart and to keep telling ourselves； 〃cheer up； keep your spirits high； things are bound to get better！”
yours； anne
……
JULY； 1943
。＿生
sunday； july 11； 1943
dear kitty；
to get back to the subject of child…rearing （for the umpteenth time）； let me tell you that im doing my best to be helpful； friendly and kind and to do all i can to keep the rain of rebukes down to a light drizzle。 its not easy trying to behave like a model child with people you cant stand； especially when you dont mean a word of it。 but i can see that a little hypocrisy gets me a lot further than myoid method of saying exactly what i think （even though no one ever asks my opinion or cares one way or another）。 of course； i often forget my role and find it impossible to curb my anger when theyre unfair； so that they spend the next month saying the most impertinent girl in the world。 dont you think im to be pitied sometimes？ its a good thing im not the grouchy type； because then i might bee sour and bad…tempered。 i can usually see the humorous side of their scoldings； but its easier when somebody else is being raked over the coals。
further； ive decided （after a great deal of thought） to drop the shorthand。 first； so that i have more time for my other subjects； and second； because of my eyes。 thats a sad story。 ive bee very nearsighted and should have had glasses ages ago。
（ugh； wont i look like a dope！）。 but as you know； people in hiding cant。 。 。
yesterday all anyone here could talk about was annes eyes； because mother had suggested i go to the ophthalmologist with mrs。 kleiman。 just hearing this made my
knees weak； since its no small matter。 going outside！ just think of it； walking down the street！ i cant imagine it。 i was petrified at first； and then glad。 but its not as simple as all that； the various authorities who had to approve such a step were unable to reach a quick decision。 they first had to carefully weigh all the difficulties and risks； though miep was ready to set off immediately with me in tow。 in the meantime； id taken my gray coat from the closet； but it was so small it looked as if it might have belonged to my little sister。 we lowered the hem； but i still couldnt button it。
im really curious to see what they decide； only i dont think theyll ever work out a plan； because the british have landed in sicily and fathers all set for a 〃quick finish。”
beps been giving margot and me a lot of office work to do。 it makes us both feel important； and its a big help to her。 anyone can file letters and make entries in a sales book； but we do it with remarkable accuracy。
miep has so much to carry she looks like a pack mule。 she goes forth nearly every day to scrounge up vegetables； and then bicycles back with her purchases in large shopping bags。 shes also the one who brings five library books with her every saturday。 we long for saturdays because that means books。 were like a bunch of little kids with a present。 ordinary people dont know how much books can mean to someone whos cooped up。
our only diversions are reading； studying and listening to the radio。
yours； anne
tuesday； july 13； 1943
the best little table yesterday afternoon father gave me permission to ask mr。 dussel whether he would please be so good as to allow me （see how polite i am？） to use the table in our room two afternoons a week； from four to five…thirty。 i already sit there every day from two…thirty to four while dussel takes a nap； but the rest of the time the room and the table are off…limits to me。 its impossible to study next door in the afternoon； because theres too much going on。 besides； father sometimes likes to sit at the desk during the afternoon。
so it seemed like a reasonable request； and i asked dussel very politely。 what do you think the learned gentlemans reply was？ 〃no。〃 just plain 〃no！”
i was incensed and wasnt about to let myself be put off like that。 i asked him the
reason for his 〃no；〃 but this didnt get me anywhere。 the gist of his reply was： 〃i have to study too； you know； and if i cant do that in the afternoons； i wont be able to fit it in at all。 i have to finish the task ive set for myself； otherwise； theres no point in starting。 besides；