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yours; anne
monday; september 28;1942
dearest kitty;
i had to stop yesterday; though i was nowhere near finished。 im dying to tell you about another one of our clashes; but before i do id like to say this: i think its odd that grown…ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters。 up to now i always thought bickering was just something children did and that they outgrew it。 often; of course; theres sometimes a reason to have a real quarrel; but the verbal exchanges that take place here are just plain bickering。 i should be used to the fact that these squabbles are daily occurrences; but im not and never will be as long as im the subject of nearly every discussion。 (they refer to these as 〃discussions”
instead of 〃quarrels;〃 but germans dont know the difference!) they criticize everything; and i mean everything; about me: my behavior; my personality; my manners; every inch of me; from head to toe and back again; is the subject of gossip and debate。 harsh words and shouts are constantly being flung at my head; though im absolutely not used to it。 according to the powers that be; im supposed to grin and
bear it。 but i cant! i have no intention of taking their insults lying down。 ill show them that anne frank wasnt born yesterday。 theyll sit up and take notice and keep their big mouths shut when i make them see they ought to attend to their own manners instead of mine。 how dare they act that way! its simply barbaric。 ive been astonished; time and again; at such rudeness and most of all。 。 。 at such stupidity (mrs。 van daan)。 but as soon as ive gotten used to the idea; and that shouldnt take long; ill give them a taste of their own medicine; and then theyll change their tune!
am i really as bad…mannered; headstrong; stubborn; pushy; stupid; lazy; etc。; etc。; as the van daans say i am? no; of course not。 i know i have my faults and shortings; but they blow them all out of proportion! if you only knew; kitty; how i seethe when they scold and mock me。 it wont take long before i explode with pent…up rage。
but enough of that。 ive bored you long enough with my quarrels; and yet i cant resist adding a highly interesting dinner conversation。
somehow we landed on the subject of pims extreme diffidence。 his modesty is a well…known fact; which even the stupidest person wouldnt dream of questioning。 all of a sudden mrs。 van daan; who feels the need to bring herself into every conversation; remarked; 〃im very modest and retiring too; much more so than my husband!”
have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? this sentence clearly illustrates that shes not exactly what youd call modest!
mr。 van daan; who felt obliged to explain the 〃much more so than my husband;”
answered calmly; 〃i have no desire to be modest and retiring。 in my experience; you get a lot further by being pushy!〃 and turning to me; he added; 〃dont be modest and retiring; anne。 it will get you nowhere。”
mother agreed pletely with this viewpoint。 but; as usual; mrs。 van daan had to add her two cents。 this time; however; instead of addressing me directly; she turned to my parents and said; 〃you must have a strange outlook on life to be able to say that to anne。 things were different when i was growing up。 though they probably havent changed much since then; except in your modern household!”
this was a direct hit at mothers modern child…rearing methods; which shes defended on many occasions。 mrs。 van daan was so upset her face turned bright red。 people who flush easily bee even more agitated when they feel themselves getting hot under the collar; and they quickly lose to their opponents。
the nonflushed mother; who now wanted to have the matter over and done with as quickly as possible; paused for a moment to think before she replied。 〃well; mrs。 van daan; i agree that its much better if a person isnt overmodest。 my husband; margot and peter are all exceptionally modest。 your husband; anne and i; though not exactly the opposite; dont let ourselves be pushed around。”
mrs。 van daan: 〃oh; but mrs。 frank; i dont understand what you mean! honestly; im extremely modest and retiring。 how can you say that im pushy?”
mother: 〃i didnt say you were pushy; but no one would describe you as having a retiring disposition。”
mrs。 van d。: 〃id like to know in what way im pushy! if i didnt look out for myself here; no one else would; and id soon starve; but that doesnt mean im not as modest and retiring as your husband。”
mother had no choice but to laugh at this ridiculous self…defense; which irritated mrs。
van daan。 not exactly a born debater; she continued her magnificent account in a mixture of german and dutch; until she got so tangled up in her own words that she finally rose from her chair and was just about to leave the room when her eye fell on me。 you should have seen her! as luck would have it; the moment mrs。 van d。 turned around i was shaking my head in a bination of passion and irony。 i wasnt doing it on purpose; but id followed her tirade so intently that my reaction was pletely involuntary。 mrs。 van d。 wheeled around and gave me a tongue…lashing:
hard; germanic; mean and vulgar; exactly like some fat; red…faced fishwife。 it was a joy to behold。 if i could draw; id like to have sketched her as she was then。 she struck me as so ical; that silly little scatterbrain! ive learned one thing: you only really get to know a person after a fight。 only then can you judge their true character!
yours; anne
tuesday; september 29; 1942
dearest kitty;
the strangest things happen to you when youre in hiding! try to picture this。
because we dont have a bathtub; we wash ourselves in a washtub; and because theres only hot water in the office (by which i mean the entire lower floor); the seven of us take turns making the most of this great opportunity。 but since none of us are alike and are all plagued by varying degrees of modesty; each member of the
family has selected a different place to wash。 peter takes a bath in the office kitchen; even though it has a glass door。 when its time for his bath; he goes around to each of us in turn and announces that we shouldnt walk past the kitchen for the next half