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he said； 〃i want to die walking； lest i might die sitting and bee unconscious； or i might die sleeping and bee unconscious。
〃 as he walked； he told his friends； 〃just a little bit longer …… ten more steps and all will be over。
i am sinking； but i shall keep walking until i have taken the last step。
i want to keep on doing something until the very end； otherwise death may catch me unawares。
i may relax and go to sleep …… i dont want this to happen at the moment of death。
〃
ouspensky died while taking his last step。
very few people on this earth have died walking like this。
he fell down walking； that is； he fell only when his death occurred。
taking his last step； he said； 〃thats it； this is my last step。
now i am about to fall。
but before departing let me tell you i dropped my body long ago。
you will see my body being released now； but i have been seeing for a long time now that the body has dropped and still i exist。
the links with the body have all been broken and yet； inside； i still exist。
now only the body will fall …… there is no way for me to fall down。
〃
at the time of his death； his friends saw a kind of light in his eyes。
a peace； joy and radiance were visible which shine through when one is standing on the threshold of the world beyond。
but one needs to make preparations for this； a continuous preparation。
if a person prepares himself fully； then death bees a wonderful experience。
there is no other phenomenon more valuable than this； because what is revealed at the time of death can never be known otherwise。
then death looks like a friend； for only at the occurrence of death can we experience that we are a living organism …… not before that。
remember； the darker the night； the brighter the stars。
the flash of lightning stands out like a silver strand； the darker the clouds are。
similarly； when； in its full form； death surrounds us from all sides； at that moment the very center of life manifests in all its glory …… never before that。
death surrounds us like darkness； and in the middle； that very center of life …… call it atman； the soul； shines in its full splendor； the surrounding darkness makes it luminous。
but at that moment we bee unconscious。
at the very moment of death； which could otherwise bee the moment to know our being； we bee unconscious。
hence one will have to make preparations towards raising ones consciousness。
meditation is that preparation。
meditation is an experiment in how one attains to a gradual； voluntary death。
it is an experiment in how one moves within and then leaves the body。
if one meditates throughout his life； he will attain to total meditation at the moment of death。
when death happens in full consciousness； the soul of the person takes its next birth in full consciousness。
then the very first day of his new life is not a day of ignorance but of full knowledge。
even in the mothers womb he remains fully conscious。
only one more birth is possible for one who has died in a conscious state。
there is no other birth possible for him after that …… because one who has experienced what birth is； what death is and what life is； attains liberation。
one who has taken birth in awareness； we have called him avatara； tirthankara； buddha； jesus； krishna。
and the thing that distinguishes them from the rest of us is awareness。
they are awakened and we are asleep。
having taken conscious birth； this bees their final journey on earth。
they have something we dont have； which； painstakingly； they continue to bring to us。
the difference between the awakened ones and us is simply this： their previous death and the birth thereafter happened in a state of awareness …… hence they live their entire life in awareness。
people in tibet do a little experiment called bardo。
it is a very valuable experiment； carried out only at the time of death。
when someone is about to die； people who know gather around him and make him do bardo。
but only he who has meditated in his life can be made to go through bardo …… not otherwise。
in the experiment of bardo； as soon as a person dies； instructions are given from the outside that he should remain fully awake。
he is told to keep watching whatever follows next； because in that state； many times things happen which the dying person can never understand。
new phenomena are not so easy to follow right away。
if a person can stay conscious after death； for a while he will not know that he is dead。
when people carry his dead body and start burning it at the cremation ground only then will he e to know for certain that he is dead …… because nothing actually dies inside； just a distance is created。
in life； this distance has never been experienced before。
the experience is so novel it cannot be grasped through conventional definition。
the person merely feels that something has separated。
but something has died； and that he only understands when people all around him start weeping and crying； falling over his body in grief； getting ready to carry the body away for cremation。
there is a reason why the body is brought for cremation so soon。
the reason for burning or cremating the body as soon as possible is to assure the soul that the body is dead； that it is burned to ashes。
but this a man can know only if he has died in awareness； a man dying in an unconscious state cannot know this。
so in order for a man to see his body burning in bardo； he is prompted； 〃take a good look at your burning body。
dont run or move away in haste。
when people bring your body for cremation； make sure you acpany them and be present there。
watch your body being cremated with perfect attention； so that next time you do not get attached to the physical body。
〃
once you see something burning to ashes； your attachment for it disappears。
others will； of course； see your body being cremated； but if you also see it； you will lose all your attachment for it。
normally； in nine hundred and ninety…nine cases out of a thousand； the man is unconscious at the time of death； he has no knowledge of it。
on the one occasion when he i