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those who practice even a little bit of meditation will have no difficulty forgetting about the future。
and what is there to remember in the future anyway？ in fact； there is no future。
so the direction has to be changed。
instead of looking at the future； look in the past； and go on making your resolve stronger and stronger in your mind。
turn one year back； two years back； ten； twenty years back； keep moving backward and you will have a strange experience。
ordinarily； if we go back into our past without meditation； even in a conscious state； the further we go back the hazier the memories will bee。
someone may find it impossible to recall anything beyond the age of five； and even up to five the memories may be few and far between。
as you draw closer and closer to your present age； your memories will bee more and more clear。
you will have a clear memory of yesterday； your memory of today will be even more clear。
but your memory of the day before yesterday； that of a year back； or that of twenty…five or fifty years back will be increasingly hazier and hazier。
but if you apply the same technique in the state of meditation； you will be greatly surprised。
the situation will be totally the reverse。
as you will draw closer to the childhood memories； the clearer they will be； because the minds slate is never so clear as it is during the childhood； the writing on it is never so clear after that。
so you will have a big surprise reviving memories in meditation； because the situation will be reversed。
the more you will move backward； drawing closer to childhood； the more transparent will be the memory。
and as you will grow older in your memory； the more hazy everything will look。
in meditation； today will look the foggiest； while the first day of birth； fifty years ago for example； will be the clearest day in memory。
returning to the past memories in meditation is not remembering。
you must understand the difference。
when we remember consciously； we are remembering。
how is this different？ when you remember your childhood …… and you are now fifty years old； for example …… you are fifty now； at this moment； and you revive the memory when you were five years old； or two years old； or one year old； what happens？ your fifty…year…old mind stands in between this moment and the memory of those years。
the memories bee hazy because you are looking through the layers of fifty years spread in between。
when you remember the past following the technique of meditation； you no longer remain fifty years old； you bee five years old。
in meditation you remember as a five…year…old child。
at that moment you are not a fifty…year…old man remembering the days when you were five years old。
you go back to the fifth year of your life。
so when we recall memories consciously we should call it remembering； whereas the same in meditation is reliving。
and there is a difference between the two。
in remembering you face great layers of memories which make everything fuzzy。
in meditation； reliving the memory turns you into a five…year…old。
shobhana is here with us。
she says in meditation； all of a sudden strange thoughts start ing to her。
she thinks she is a child playing with dolls。
that thought bees so strong that it frightens her。
she suspects someone may see her in that condition and feel strange about her； so she opens her eyes now and then to make sure no one is watching her。
she is not aware； at that moment her present age disappears。
in that state she is not even remembering her childhood； it is reliving。
that means in meditation she turns into a five…year…old girl。
there is a young man here： in meditation he begins to suck his thumb …… he bees six months old。
the moment he enters into meditation； his thumb goes right in his mouth。
he returns to the age when he was six months old。
it is necessary to understand the difference between remembering and reliving。
it is not very difficult to relive one life。
the only problem is we have bee identified with our age。
a man of fifty is not willing to step back even five years …… he wants to remain stuck at the age of fifty。
those who wish to relive their past； who want to remember their past； will have to give up their fixed identities； they will have to relax a little。
for example； if a man wants to go back to his childhood it would do him good if he played with children for an hour or so every day。
it would help him greatly if he dropped his fixation on being fifty years old； if he stopped being serious for a while。
it would be good if he did jogging； swimming； dancing。
it would be helpful if he consciously lived like a child for an hour； that would make it easier for him to return to his past in meditation as well。
otherwise he remains rigidly at the age of fifty。
remember； consciousness has no age； it only consists of conditionings。
there is nothing like a five…year…old； a ten…year…old； or a fifty…year…old consciousness。
it is just an idea。
close your eyes and try to find how old your consciousness is …… you wont be able to say anything。
you might say； 〃i will have to check the diary； or look into a calendar； or consult the horoscope。
〃
the fact is； no one knew what his age was until horoscopes； calendars； the counting of years； the numbers came into existence。
even today there are aboriginals who find it difficult to answer if you ask them how old they are； because for some of them the numerals stop at fifteen； for others at ten； and for some the number doesnt go beyond five。
i know a man who is a house…cleaner。
once someone asked him how old he was。
he replied； 〃just about twenty…five。
〃 in fact he was at least about sixty。
the people who heard him were a little surprised。
they asked； 〃how old is your son？〃
he said； 〃maybe about twenty…five。
〃
the people were puzzled。
they said； 〃your son is twenty…five； you are also twenty…five years old …… how can this be？〃 he had no problem with it； because for him twenty…five was the last number； there was no number beyond that。
the difficulty arises for us because we have numbe