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at the moment of death i will be the sum of my whole life。
let me put it this way： life is a spread out phenomenon； death is a condensed one。
in other words； life is a vast expanse； while death is the total； cumulative； condensation of this whole expanse …… the abridgment of it。
death is very atomic。
everything has e together in one atom； thats why there is no other phenomenon greater than death。
but it occurs only once。
this does not mean； however； that you have not died before。
no； it has occurred many times before； but it occurs only once in one lifetime。
and if you have lived this life remaining asleep； then death also takes place in the state of sleep。
it es anew in the next life； and again occurs only once。
so keep in mind； one who dies a conscious death takes a conscious birth in the next life …… that bees the other part of his dying。
and the life of one who dies and takes birth consciously functions on a totally different plane。
for the first time； he is able to grab hold of the entire meaning of life； of the whole purpose of life； of the heights and depths of life； precisely and consciously。
he is able to grasp the whole truth of life。
so； i have mentioned two things。
first； in order that you may have a conscious death； bee alert to the suffering； be aware of it。
dont run away from pain； dont escape from misery。
the second thing i said； while moving around and performing your day…to…day activities； sud…denly stop and bee a witness for a moment。
then resume your activity。
if you can bee a witness even for a few moments in twenty…four hours； you will find all of a sudden what a big madhouse this world is； and how； by being a witness； you step out of it。
when someone swears at you； immediately you bee such a recipient you lose sight of the person swearing at you。
as soon as he swears at you； you receive it。
in fact； you receive it even before the words leave his lips。
you receive the whole of it before the swearer has even managed to plete it。
actually； you receive twice as much as is sworn at you。
even the person swearing is taken aback to see how you received more than he swore。
you pletely fail to see what is happening。
if you could really see
next time when someone swears at you； bee a watcher； dont be a receiver。
just be there and watch the person swearing at you。
it will cause you to laugh at yourself； and the laughter will be liberating。
you will laugh at your being the constant recipient of profanities all through your life。
perhaps you may even thank him and go your way。
doing so； you may leave the poor man guessing； because such an act would be beyond his prehension。
he would be totally at a loss。
in a period of twenty…four hours； whatsoever may happen …… in anger； in hate； in love； in friendship； in enmity； while walking； resting； whatever …… watch it sometimes for a moment； just for a moment。
give yourself a jolt just for one moment and watch whats happening with awareness。
at that moment dont be a recipient； simply be a watcher of whatever is happening。
such calm will surround you in that moment： you will bee so very aware； because at that moment you will be filled with meditation。
that very moment of awareness is the moment of meditation。
if one could carry on these two experiments； then the rest of the things you have asked will follow。
for instance； you ask； 〃if a seeker practices celibacy； will it help in death？ will he attain awareness？〃 in fact； he alone can attain celibacy who bees a witness； not otherwise。
one who indulges is sure to remain sexual。
an indulgent person means one who is lustful。
he wants to indulge in sex。
if one could be a witness； lust and sex would slowly and gradually disappear from ones life。
if a man could bee a witness during intercourse； perhaps he would never enter into it again； because everything would seem so meaningless； so worthless。
everything would look so childish that he might e to feel； 〃whats going on？ whats happening？ whats all this anyway？ how have i managed to do this up to now？ why has all of this such a hold over me？〃 but since we dont bee a witness； we keep on repeating it。
actually； dont ever be a witness if you wish to continue repeating your mistakes。
every mistake will then repeat itself。
then again； every mistake has its own season； just goes on recurring。
if you could keep a daily record of your life for a few months； you would immediately find yourself to be one of those who are periodically mad。
just this afternoon i received a letter from a friend。
he bees insane every six months； and for the other six months he remains sane。
he often used to ask me why this happens to him。
i said； 〃you are able to know the difference because the duration of your sane and insane states is clearly defined。
this is not so with other people。
they remain insane half a dozen times and are sane half a dozen times during the day； hence they are not able to figure it out。
you stay insane for a solid period of six months and remain sane for another whole six months。
the contrast is very clear。
〃 ordinarily； a person goes mad ten times a day and behaves normally the other ten。
neither does he know nor do other people know when he is sane and when he is insane。
if； for a few months； you could keep a plete record of what goes on in your life； it will immediately bee clear to you that all things repeat themselves。
for example； anger recurs at almost the same time each day。
each day； you not only feel hungry at a fixed time； you get angry at a fixed time too。
you feel hungry exactly at eleven oclock。
as soon as the clock strikes eleven or twelve or one in the afternoon； whatever； you feel hungry。
at whichever time you take your meals； you feel hungry at that particular time。
the body tells you it is hungry。
in the same manner； you feel angry； sexual； loving； at a set time。
these are all hungers too； and they arise at a fixed time。
you go on repeating the same mistakes； because you have never tried to realize the fact that whatsoever you do is all mechanical routine。
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