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“i do; sir—i do; with my whole heart。”
“well;” he said; after some minutes’ silence; “it is strange; but that sentence has penetrated by breast painfully。 why? i think because you said it with such an earnest; religious energy; and because your upward gaze at me now is the very sublime of faith; truth; and devotion: it is too much as if some spirit were near me。 look wicked; jane: as you know well how to look: coin one of your wild; shy; provoking smiles; tell me you hate me—tease me; vex me; do anything but move me: i would rather be incensed than saddened。”
“i will tease you and vex you to your heart’s content; when i have finished my tale: but hear me to the end。”
“i thought; jane; you had told me all。 i thought i had found the source of your melancholy in a dream。”
i shook my head。 “what! is there more? but i will not believe it to be anything important。 i warn you of incredulity beforehand。 go on。”
the disquietude of his air; the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his manner; surprised me: but i proceeded。
“i dreamt another dream; sir: that thornfield hall was a dreary ruin; the retreat of bats and owls。 i thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell…like wall; very high and very fragile…looking。 i wandered; on a moonlight night; through the grass…grown enclosure within: here i stumbled over a marble hearth; and there over a fallen fragment of cornice。 wrapped up in a shawl; i still carried the unknown little child: i might not lay it down anywhere; however tired were my arms—however much its weight impeded my progress; i must retain it。 i heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the road; i was sure it was you; and you were departing for many years and for a distant country。 i climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous haste; eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top: the stones rolled from under my feet; the ivy branches i grasped gave way; the child clung round my neck in terror; and almost strangled me; at last i gained the summit。 i saw you like a speck on a white track; lessening every moment。 the blast blew so strong i could not stand。 i sat down on the narrow ledge; i hushed the scared infant in my lap: you turned an angle of the road: i bent forward to take a last look; the wall crumbled; i was shaken; the child rolled from my knee; i lost my balance; fell; and woke。”
“now; jane; that is all。”
“all the preface; sir; the tale is yet to e。 on waking; a gleam dazzled my eyes; i thought—oh; it is daylight! but i was mistaken; it was only candlelight。 sophie; i supposed; had e in。 there was a light in the dressing…table; and the door of the closet; where; before going to bed; i had hung my wedding…dress and veil; stood open; i heard a rustling there。 i asked; ‘sophie; what are you doing?’ no one answered; but a form emerged from the closet; it took the light; held it aloft; and surveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau。 ‘sophie! sophie!’ i again cried: and still it was silent。 i had risen up in bed; i bent forward: first surprise; then bewilderment; came over me; and then my blood crept cold through my veins。 mr。 rochester; this was not sophie; it was not leah; it was not mrs。 fairfax: it was not—no; i was sure of it; and am still—it was not even that strange woman; grace poole。”
“it must have been one of them;” interrupted my master。
“no; sir; i solemnly assure you to the contrary。 the shape standing before me had never crossed my eyes within the precincts of thornfield hall before; the height; the contour were new to me。”
“describe it; jane。”
“it seemed; sir; a woman; tall and large; with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back。 i know not what dress she had on: it was white and straight; but whether gown; sheet; or shroud; i cannot tell。”
“did you see her face?”
“not at first。 but presently she took my veil from its place; she held it up; gazed at it long; and then she threw it over her own head; and turned to the mirror。 at that moment i saw the reflection of the visage and features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass。”
“and how were they?”
“fearful and ghastly to me—oh; sir; i never saw a face like it! it was a discoloured face—it was a savage face。 i wish i could forget the roll of the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments!”
“ghosts are usually pale; jane。”
“this; sir; was purple: the lips were swelled and dark; the brow furrowed: the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes。 shall i tell you of what it reminded me?”
“you may。”
“of the foul german spectre—the vampyre。”
“ah!—what did it do?”
“sir; it removed my veil from its gaunt head; rent it in two parts; and flinging both on the floor; trampled on them。”
“afterwards?”
“it drew aside the window…curtain and looked out; perhaps it saw dawn approaching; for; taking the candle; it retreated to the door。 just at my bedside; the figure stopped: the fiery eyes glared upon me—she thrust up her candle close to my face; and extinguished it under my eyes。 i was aware her lurid visage flamed over mine; and i lost consciousness: for the second time in my life—only the second time—i became insensible from terror。”
“who was with you when you revived?”
“no one; sir; but the broad day。 i rose; bathed my head and face in water; drank a long draught; felt that though enfeebled i was not ill; and determined that to none but you would i impart this vision。 now; sir; tell me who and what that woman was?”
“the creature of an over…stimulated brain; that is certain。 i must be careful of you; my treasure: nerves like yours were not made for rough handling。”
“sir; depend on it; my nerves were not in fault; the thing was real: the transaction actually took place。”
“and your previous dreams; were they real too? is thornfield hall a ruin? am i severed from you by insuperable obstacles? am i leaving you without a tear—without a kiss—without a word?”
“not yet。”
“am i about to do it? why; the day is already menced which is to bind us indissolubly; and when we are once united; there shall be no recurrence of these mental terror