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f my shawl in the hall； and shaking the water out of my loosened hair； when mrs。 fairfax emerged from her room。 i did not observe her at first； nor did mr。 rochester。 the lamp was lit。 the clock was on the stroke of twelve。
“hasten to take off your wet things；” said he； “and before you go； good…night—good…night； my darling！”
he kissed me repeatedly。 when i looked up； on leaving his arms； there stood the widow； pale； grave； and amazed。 i only smiled at her； and ran upstairs。 “explanation will do for another time；” thought i。 still； when i reached my chamber； i felt a pang at the idea she should even temporarily misconstrue what she had seen。 but joy soon effaced every other feeling； and loud as the wind blew； near and deep as the thunder crashed； fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed； cataract…like as the rain fell during a storm of two hours’ duration； i experienced no fear and little awe。 mr。 rochester came thrice to my door in the course of it； to ask if i was safe and tranquil： and that was fort； that was strength for anything。
before i left my bed in the morning； little adèle came running in to tell me that the great horse…chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been struck by lightning in the night； and half of it split away。
。。
Chapter 25
。小［说网｝
the month of courtship had wasted： its very last hours were being numbered。 there was no putting off the day that advanced—the bridal day； and all preparations for its arrival were plete。 i； at least； had nothing more to do： there were my trunks； packed； locked； corded； ranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber； to…morrow； at this time； they would be far on their road to london： and so should i （d。v。）；—or rather； not i； but one jane rochester； a person whom as yet i knew not。 the cards of address alone remained to nail on： they lay； four little squares； in the drawer。 mr。 rochester had himself written the direction； “mrs。 rochester；— hotel； london；” on each： i could not persuade myself to affix them； or to have them affixed。 mrs。 rochester！ she did not exist： she would not be born till to…morrow； some time after eight o’clock a。m。； and i would wait to be assured she had e into the world alive before i assigned to her all that property。 it was enough that in yonder closet； opposite my dressing…table； garments said to be hers had already displaced my black stuff lowood frock and straw bonnet： for not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment； the pearl…coloured robe； the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau。 i shut the closet to conceal the strange； wraith…like apparel it contained； which； at this evening hour—nine o’clock— gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment。 “i will leave you by yourself； white dream；” i said。 “i am feverish： i hear the wind blowing： i will go out of doors and feel it。”
it was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish； not only the anticipation of the great change—the new life which was to mence to…morrow： both these circumstances had their share； doubtless； in producing that restless； excited mood which hurried me forth at this late hour into the darkening grounds： but a third cause influenced my mind more than they。
i had at heart a strange and anxious thought。 something had happened which i could not prehend； no one knew of or had seen the event but myself： it had taken place the preceding night。 mr。 rochester that night was absent from home； nor was he yet returned： business had called him to a small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles off—business it was requisite he should settle in person； previous to his meditated departure from england。 i waited now his return； eager to disburthen my mind； and to seek of him the solution of the enigma that perplexed me。 stay till he es； reader； and； when i disclose my secret to him； you shall share the confidence。
i sought the orchard； driven to its shelter by the wind； which all day had blown strong and full from the south； without； however； bringing a speck of rain。 instead of subsiding as night drew on； it seemed to augment its rush and deepen its roar： the trees blew steadfastly one way； never writhing round； and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an hour； so continuous was the strain bending their branchy heads northward—the clouds drifted from pole to pole； fast following； mass on mass： no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that july day。
it was not without a certain wild pleasure i ran before the wind； delivering my trouble of mind to the measureless air…torrent thundering through space。 descending the laurel walk； i faced the wreck of the chestnut…tree； it stood up black and riven： the trunk； split down the centre； gasped ghastly。 the cloven halves were not broken from each other； for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsundered below； though munity of vitality was destroyed—the sap could flow no more： their great boughs on each side were dead； and next winter’s tempests would be sure to fell one or both to earth： as yet； however； they might be said to form one tree—a ruin； but an entire ruin。
“you did right to hold fast to each other；” i said： as if the monster…splinters were living things； and could hear me。 “i think； scathed as you look； and charred and scorched； there must be a little sense of life in you yet； rising out of that adhesion at the faithful； honest roots： you will never have green leaves more— never more see birds making nests and singing idyls in your boughs； the time of pleasure and love is over with you： but you are not desolate： each of you has a rade to sympathise with him in his decay。” as i looked up at them； the moon appeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled their fissure； her disk was blood… red and half overcast； she seemed to throw on me one bewildered； dreary glance； and buried herself again instantly in the deep drift of cloud。 the wind fell； for a second； round thornfield； but far away over wood and water； poured a wild； melancholy wail： it was sad to listen to； and i ran off again。
here and there i strayed through the orchard； gathered up the apples with which