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： georgiana； who had burst out into loud weeping； said she dared not go。 there was stretched sarah reed’s once robust and active frame； rigid and still： her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid； her brow and strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul。 a strange and solemn object was that corpse to me。 i gazed on it with gloom and pain： nothing soft； nothing sweet； nothing pitying； or hopeful； or subduing did it inspire； only a grating anguish for her woes—not my loss—and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a form。
eliza surveyed her parent calmly。 after a silence of some minutes she observed—
“with her constitution she should have lived to a good old age： her life was shortened by trouble。” and then a spasm constricted her mouth for an instant： as it passed away she turned and left the room； and so did i。 neither of us had dropt a tear。
％％。
Chapter 22
（／／小｜//说//网）
mr。 rochester had given me but one week’s leave of absence： yet a month elapsed before i quitted gateshead。 i wished to leave immediately after the funeral； but georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to london； whither she was now at last invited by her uncle； mr。 gibson； who had e down to direct his sister’s interment and settle the family affairs。 georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with eliza； from her she got neither sympathy in her dejection； support in her fears； nor aid in her preparations； so i bore with her feeble…minded wailings and selfish lamentations as well as i could； and did my best in sewing for her and packing her dresses。 it is true； that while i worked； she would idle； and i thought to myself； “if you and i were destined to live always together； cousin； we would mence matters on a different footing。 i should not settle tamely down into being the forbearing party； i should assign you your share of labour； and pel you to acplish it； or else it should be left undone： i should insist； also； on your keeping some of those drawling； half…insincere plaints hushed in your own breast。 it is only because our connection happens to be very transitory； and es at a peculiarly mournful season； that i consent thus to render it so patient and pliant on my part。”
at last i saw georgiana off； but now it was eliza’s turn to request me to stay another week。 her plans required all her time and attention； she said； she was about to depart for some unknown bourne； and all day long she stayed in her own room； her door bolted within； filling trunks； emptying drawers； burning papers； and holding no munication with any one。 she wished me to look after the house； to see callers； and answer notes of condolence。
one morning she told me i was at liberty。 “and；” she added； “i am obliged to you for your valuable services and discreet conduct！ there is some difference between living with such an one as you and with georgiana： you perform your own part in life and burden no one。 to…morrow；” she continued； “i set out for the continent。 i shall take up my abode in a religious house near lisle—a nunnery you would call it； there i shall be quiet and unmolested。 i shall devote myself for a time to the examination of the roman catholic dogmas； and to a careful study of the workings of their system： if i find it to be； as i half suspect it is； the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things decently and in order； i shall embrace the tenets of rome and probably take the veil。”
i neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor attempted to dissuade her from it。 “the vocation will fit you to a hair；” i thought： “much good may it do you！”
when we parted； she said： “good…bye； cousin jane eyre； i wish you well： you have some sense。”
i then returned： “you are not without sense； cousin eliza； but what you have； i suppose； in another year will be walled up alive in a french convent。 however； it is not my business； and so it suits you； i don’t much care。”
“you are in the right；” said she； and with these words we each went our separate way。 as i shall not have occasion to refer either to her or her sister again； i may as well mention here； that georgiana made an advantageous match with a wealthy worn…out man of fashion； and that eliza actually took the veil； and is at this day superior of the convent where she passed the period of her novitiate； and which she endowed with her fortune。
how people feel when they are returning home from an absence； long or short； i did not know： i had never experienced the sensation。 i had known what it was to e back to gateshead when a child after a long walk； to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy； and later； what it was to e back from church to lowood； to long for a plenteous meal and a good fire； and to be unable to get either。 neither of these returnings was very pleasant or desirable： no magnet drew me to a given point； increasing in its strength of attraction the nearer i came。 the return to thornfield was yet to be tried。
my journey seemed tedious—very tedious： fifty miles one day； a night spent at an inn； fifty miles the next day。 during the first twelve hours i thought of mrs。 reed in her last moments； i saw her disfigured and discoloured face； and heard her strangely altered voice。 i mused on the funeral day； the coffin； the hearse； the black train of tenants and servants—few was the number of relatives—the gaping vault； the silent church； the solemn service。 then i thought of eliza and georgiana； i beheld one the cynosure of a ball…room； the other the inmate of a convent cell； and i dwelt on and analysed their separate peculiarities of person and character。 the evening arrival at the great town of—scattered these thoughts； night gave them quite another turn： laid down on my traveller’s bed； i left reminiscence for anticipation。
i was going back to thornfield： but how long was i to stay there？ not long； of that i was sure。 i had heard from mrs。 fairfax in the interim of my absence： the party at the hall was dispersed； mr。 rochester had left for london three weeks ago； but he was then expected to return in a fortnight。 mrs。 fairfaurmised that he was gone to make arrangements for his wedding；