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e; as she lay on her placid deathbed; and whispered her longing to be restored to her divine father’s bosom— when a feeble voice murmured from the couch behind: “who is that?”
i knew mrs。 reed had not spoken for days: was she reviving? i went up to her。
“it is i; aunt reed。”
“who—i?” was her answer。 “who are you?” looking at me with surprise and a sort of alarm; but still not wildly。 “you are quite a stranger to me—where is bessie?”
“she is at the lodge; aunt。”
“aunt;” she repeated。 “who calls me aunt? you are not one of the gibsons; and yet i know you—that face; and the eyes and forehead; are quiet familiar to me: you are like—why; you are like jane eyre!”
i said nothing: i was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring my identity。
“yet;” said she; “i am afraid it is a mistake: my thoughts deceive me。 i wished to see jane eyre; and i fancy a likeness where none exists: besides; in eight years she must be so changed。” i now gently assured her that i was the person she supposed and desired me to be: and seeing that i was understood; and that her senses were quite collected; i explained how bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from thornfield。
“i am very ill; i know;” she said ere long。 “i was trying to turn myself a few minutes since; and find i cannot move a limb。 it is as well i should ease my mind before i die: what we think little of in health; burdens us at such an hour as the present is to me。 is the nurse here? or is there no one in the room but you?”
i assured her we were alone。
“well; i have twice done you a wrong which i regret now。 one was in breaking the promise which i gave my husband to bring you up as my own child; the other—” she stopped。 “after all; it is of no great importance; perhaps;” she murmured to herself: “and then i may get better; and to humble myself so to her is painful。”
she made an effort to alter her position; but failed: her face changed; she seemed to experience some inward sensation—the precursor; perhaps; of the last pang。
“well; i must get it over。 eternity is before me: i had better tell her。—go to my dressing…case; open it; and take out a letter you will see there。”
i obeyed her directions。 “read the letter;” she said。
it was short; and thus conceived:—
“madam;—will you have the goodness to send me the address of my niece; jane eyre; and to tell me how she is? it is my intention to write shortly and desire her to e to me at madeira。 providence has blessed my endeavours to secure a petency; and as i am unmarried and childless; i wish to adopt her during my life; and bequeath her at my death whatever i may have to leave。—i am; madam; etc。; etc。;
“john eyre; madeira。”
it was dated three years back。
“why did i never hear of this?” i asked。
“because i disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity。 i could not forget your conduct to me; jane—the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in which you declared you abhorred me the worst of anybody in the world; the unchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the very thought of me made you sick; and asserted that i had treated you with miserable cruelty。 i could not forget my own sensations when you thus started up and poured out the venom of your mind: i felt fear as if an animal that i had struck or pushed had looked up at me with human eyes and cursed me in a man’s voice。— bring me some water! oh; make haste!”
“dear mrs。 reed;” said i; as i offered her the draught she required; “think no more of all this; let it pass away from your mind。 forgive me for my passionate language: i was a child then; eight; nine years have passed since that day。”
she heeded nothing of what i said; but when she had tasted the water and drawn breath; she went on thus—
“i tell you i could not forget it; and i took my revenge: for you to be adopted by your uncle; and placed in a state of ease and fort; was what i could not endure。 i wrote to him; i said i was sorry for his disappointment; but jane eyre was dead: she had died of typhus fever at lowood。 now act as you please: write and contradict my assertion—expose my falsehood as soon as you like。 you were born; i think; to be my torment: my last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which; but for you; i should never have been tempted to mit。”
“if you could but be persuaded to think no more of it; aunt; and to regard me with kindness and forgiveness”
“you have a very bad disposition;” said she; “and one to this day i feel it impossible to understand: how for nine years you could be patient and quiescent under any treatment; and in the tenth break out all fire and violence; i can never prehend。”
“my disposition is not so bad as you think: i am passionate; but not vindictive。 many a time; as a little child; i should have been glad to love you if you would have let me; and i long earnestly to be reconciled to you now: kiss me; aunt。”
i approached my cheek to her lips: she would not touch it。 she said i oppressed her by leaning over the bed; and again demanded water。 as i laid her down—for i raised her and supported her on my arm while she drank—i covered her ice…cold and clammy hand with mine: the feeble fingers shrank from my touch—the glazing eyes shunned my gaze。
“love me; then; or hate me; as you will;” i said at last; “you have my full and free forgiveness: ask now for god’s; and be at peace。”
poor; suffering woman! it was too late for her to make now the effort to change her habitual frame of mind: living; she had ever hated me—dying; she must hate me still。
the nurse now entered; and bessie followed。 i yet lingered half…an… hour longer; hoping to see some sign of amity: but she gave none。 she was fast relapsing into stupor; nor did her mind again rally: at twelve o’clock that night she died。 i was not present to close her eyes; nor were either of her daughters。 they came to tell us the next morning that all was over。 she was by that time laid out。 eliza and i went to look at her: georgiana; who had burst out into loud weeping; said she dared not go。 there was stretched sarah r