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y would have had to wait many minutes—so long was the silence protracted。 at last i looked up at the tardy speaker: he was looking eagerly at me。
“little friend;” said he; in quite a changed tone—while his face changed too; losing all its softness and gravity; and being harsh and sarcastic—“you have noticed my tender penchant for miss ingram: don’t you think if i married her she would regenerate me with a vengeance?”
he got up instantly; went quite to the other end of the walk; and when he came back he was humming a tune。
“jane; jane;” said he; stopping before me; “you are quite pale with your vigils: don’t you curse me for disturbing your rest?”
“curse you? no; sir。”
“shake hands in confirmation of the word。 what cold fingers! they were warmer last night when i touched them at the door of the mysterious chamber。 jane; when will you watch with me again?”
“whenever i can be useful; sir。”
“for instance; the night before i am married! i am sure i shall not be able to sleep。 will you promise to sit up with me to bear me pany? to you i can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her。”
“yes; sir。”
“she’s a rare one; is she not; jane?”
“yes; sir。”
“a strapper—a real strapper; jane: big; brown; and buxom; with hair just such as the ladies of carthage must have had。 bless me! there’s dent and lynn in the stables! go in by the shrubbery; through that wicket。”
as i went one way; he went another; and i heard him in the yard; saying cheerfully—
“mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise: i rose at four to see him off。”
m。
Chapter 21
~
presentiments are strange things! and so are sympathies; and so are signs; and the three bined make one mystery to which humanity has not yet found the key。 i never laughed at presentiments in my life; because i have had strange ones of my own。 sympathies; i believe; exist (for instance; between far…distant; long…absent; wholly estranged relatives asserting; notwithstanding their alienation; the unity of the source to which each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal prehension。 and signs; for aught we know; may be but the sympathies of nature with man。
when i was a little girl; only six years old; i one night heard bessie leaven say to martha abbot that she had been dreaming about a little child; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble; either to one’s self or one’s kin。 the saying might have worn out of my memory; had not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix it there。 the next day bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her little sister。
of late i had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during the past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not brought with it a dream of an infant; which i sometimes hushed in my arms; sometimes dandled on my knee; sometimes watched playing with daisies on a lawn; or again; dabbling its hands in running water。 it was a wailing child this night; and a laughing one the next: now it nestled close to me; and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition evinced; whatever aspect it wore; it failed not for seven successive nights to meet me the moment i entered the land of slumber。
i did not like this iteration of one idea—this strange recurrence of one image; and i grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the vision drew near。 it was from panionship with this baby… phantom i had been roused on that moonlight night when i heard the cry; and it was on the afternoon of the day following i was summoned downstairs by a message that some one wanted me in mrs。 fairfax’s room。 on repairing thither; i found a man waiting for me; having the appearance of a gentleman’s servant: he was dressed in deep mourning; and the hat he held in his hand was surrounded with a crape band。
“i daresay you hardly remember me; miss;” he said; rising as i entered; “but my name is leaven: i lived coachman with mrs。 reed when you were at gateshead; eight or nine years since; and i live there still。”
“oh; robert! how do you do? i remember you very well: you used to give me a ride sometimes on miss georgiana’s bay pony。 and how is bessie? you are married to bessie?”
“yes; miss: my wife is very hearty; thank you; she brought me another little one about two months since—we have three now—and both mother and child are thriving。”
“and are the family well at the house; robert?”
“i am sorry i can’t give you better news of them; miss: they are very badly at present—in great trouble。”
“i hope no one is dead;” i said; glancing at his black dress。 he too looked down at the crape round his hat and replied—
“mr。 john died yesterday was a week; at his chambers in london。”
“mr。 john?”
“yes。”
“and how does his mother bear it?”
“why; you see; miss eyre; it is not a mon mishap: his life has been very wild: these last three years he gave himself up to strange ways; and his death was shocking。”
“i heard from bessie he was not doing well。”
“doing well! he could not do worse: he ruined his health and his estate amongst the worst men and the worst women。 he got into debt and into jail: his mother helped him out twice; but as soon as he was free he returned to his old panions and habits。 his head was not strong: the knaves he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything i ever heard。 he came down to gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted missis to give up all to him。 missis refused: her means have long been much reduced by his extravagance; so he went back again; and the next news was that he was dead。 how he died; god knows!—they say he killed himself。”
i was silent: the things were frightful。 robert leaven resumed—
“missis had been out of health herself for some time: she had got very stout; but was not strong with it; and the loss of money and fear of poverty were quite breaking her down。 the information about mr。 john’s death and the manner of it came too suddenly: it brought on a stroke。 she was three days without speaking; but last tuesday she seemed rather better: she appeared as if she wanted