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“is the danger you apprehended last night gone by now; sir?”
“i cannot vouch for that till mason is out of england: nor even then。 to live; for me; jane; is to stand on a crater…crust which may crack and spue fire any day。”
“but mr。 mason seems a man easily led。 your influence; sir; is evidently potent with him: he will never set you at defiance or wilfully injure you。”
“oh; no! mason will not defy me; nor; knowing it; will he hurt me— but; unintentionally; he might in a moment; by one careless word; deprive me; if not of life; yet for ever of happiness。”
“tell him to be cautious; sir: let him know what you fear; and show him how to avert the danger。”
he laughed sardonically; hastily took my hand; and as hastily threw it from him。
“if i could do that; simpleton; where would the danger be? annihilated in a moment。 ever since i have known mason; i have only had to say to him ‘do that;’ and the thing has been done。 but i cannot give him orders in this case: i cannot say ‘beware of harming me; richard;’ for it is imperative that i should keep him ignorant that harm to me is possible。 now you look puzzled; and i will puzzle you further。 you are my little friend; are you not?”
“i like to serve you; sir; and to obey you in all that is right。”
“precisely: i see you do。 i see genuine contentment in your gait and mien; your eye and face; when you are helping me and pleasing me—working for me; and with me; in; as you characteristically say; ‘all that is right:’ for if i bid you do what you thought wrong; there would be no light…footed running; no neat…handed alacrity; no lively glance and animated plexion。 my friend would then turn to me; quiet and pale; and would say; ‘no; sir; that is impossible: i cannot do it; because it is wrong;’ and would bee immutable as a fixed star。 well; you too have power over me; and may injure me: yet i dare not show you where i am vulnerable; lest; faithful and friendly as you are; you should transfix me at once。”
“if you have no more to fear from mr。 mason than you have from me; sir; you are very safe。”
“god grant it may be so! here; jane; is an arbour; sit down。”
the arbour was an arch in the wall; lined with ivy; it contained a rustic seat。 mr。 rochester took it; leaving room; however; for me: but i stood before him。
“sit;” he said; “the bench is long enough for two。 you don’t hesitate to take a place at my side; do you? is that wrong; jane?”
i answered him by assuming it: to refuse would; i felt; have been unwise。
“now; my little friend; while the sun drinks the dew—while all the flowers in this old garden awake and expand; and the birds fetch their young ones’ breakfast out of the thornfield; and the early bees do their first spell of work—i’ll put a case to you; which you must endeavour to suppose your own: but first; look at me; and tell me you are at ease; and not fearing that i err in detaining you; or that you err in staying。”
“no; sir; i am content。”
“well then; jane; call to aid your fancy:… suppose you were no longer a girl well reared and disciplined; but a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land; conceive that you there mit a capital error; no matter of what nature or from what motives; but one whose consequences must follow you through life and taint all your existence。 mind; i don’t say a crime; i am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty act; which might make the perpetrator amenable to the law: my word is error。 the results of what you have done bee in time to you utterly insupportable; you take measures to obtain relief: unusual measures; but neither unlawful nor culpable。 still you are miserable; for hope has quitted you on the very confines of life: your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse; which you feel will not leave it till the time of setting。 bitter and base associations have bee the sole food of your memory: you wander here and there; seeking rest in exile: happiness in pleasure—i mean in heartless; sensual pleasure—such as dulls intellect and blights feeling。 heart…weary and soul…withered; you e home after years of voluntary banishment: you make a new acquaintance—how or where no matter: you find in this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have sought for twenty years; and never before encountered; and they are all fresh; healthy; without soil and without taint。 such society revives; regenerates: you feel better days e back—higher wishes; purer feelings; you desire to remence your life; and to spend what remains to you of days in a way more worthy of an immortal being。 to attain this end; are you justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom—a mere conventional impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves?”
he paused for an answer: and what was i to say? oh; for some good spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response! vain aspiration! the west wind whispered in the ivy round me; but no gentle ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of speech: the birds sang in the tree…tops; but their song; however sweet; was inarticulate。
again mr。 rochester propounded his query:
“is the wandering and sinful; but now rest…seeking and repentant; man justified in daring the world’s opinion; in order to attach to him for ever this gentle; gracious; genial stranger; thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?”
“sir;” i answered; “a wanderer’s repose or a sinner’s reformation should never depend on a fellow…creature。 men and women die; philosophers falter in wisdom; and christians in goodness: if any one you know has suffered and erred; let him look higher than his equals for strength to amend and solace to heal。”
“but the instrument—the instrument! god; who does the work; ordains the instrument。 i have myself—i tell it you without parable—been a worldly; dissipated; restless man; and i believe i have found the instrument for my cure in—”
he paused: the birds went on carolling; the leaves lightly rustling。 i almost wondered they did not check their songs and whispers to catch the suspended revelation; but they would have had t