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“i think i shall not： i have never been tried yet。”
i felt a thrill while i answered him； but no coldness； and no faintness。
“just give me your hand；” he said： “it will not do to risk a fainting fit。”
i put my fingers into his。 “warm and steady；” was his remark： he turned the key and opened the door。
i saw a room i remembered to have seen before； the day mrs。 fairfahowed me over the house： it was hung with tapestry； but the tapestry was now looped up in one part； and there was a door apparent； which had then been concealed。 this door was open； a light shone out of the room within： i heard thence a snarling； snatching sound； almost like a dog quarrelling。 mr。 rochester； putting down his candle； said to me； “wait a minute；” and he went forward to the inner apartment。 a shout of laughter greeted his entrance； noisy at first； and terminating in grace poole’s own goblin ha！ ha！ she then was there。 he made some sort of arrangement without speaking； though i heard a low voice address him： he came out and closed the door behind him。
“here； jane！” he said； and i walked round to the other side of a large bed； which with its drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of the chamber。 an easy…chair was near the bed…head： a man sat in it； dressed with the exception of his coat； he was still； his head leant back； his eyes were closed。 mr。 rochester held the candle over him； i recognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face—the stranger； mason： i saw too that his linen on one side； and one arm； was almost soaked in blood。
“hold the candle；” said mr。 rochester； and i took it： he fetched a basin of water from the washstand： “hold that；” said he。 i obeyed。 he took the sponge； dipped it in； and moistened the corpse…like face； he asked for my smelling…bottle； and applied it to the nostrils。 mr。 mason shortly unclosed his eyes； he groaned。 mr。 rochester opened the shirt of the wounded man； whose arm and shoulder were bandaged： he sponged away blood； trickling fast down。
“is there immediate danger？” murmured mr。 mason。
“pooh！ no—a mere scratch。 don’t be so overe； man： bear up！ i’ll fetch a surgeon for you now； myself： you’ll be able to be removed by morning； i hope。 jane；” he continued。
“sir？”
“i shall have to leave you in this room with this gentleman； for an hour； or perhaps two hours： you will sponge the blood as i do when it returns： if he feels faint； you will put the glass of water on that stand to his lips； and your salts to his nose。 you will not speak to him on any pretext—and—richard； it will be at the peril of your life if you speak to her： open your lips—agitate yourself—and i’ll not answer for the consequences。”
again the poor man groaned； he looked as if he dared not move； fear； either of death or of something else； appeared almost to paralyse him。 mr。 rochester put the now bloody sponge into my hand； and i proceeded to use it as he had done。 he watched me a second； then saying； “remember！—no conversation；” he left the room。 i experienced a strange feeling as the key grated in the lock； and the sound of his retreating step ceased to be heard。
here then i was in the third storey； fastened into one of its mystic cells； night around me； a pale and bloody spectacle under my eyes and hands； a murderess hardly separated from me by a single door： yes—that was appalling—the rest i could bear； but i shuddered at the thought of grace poole bursting out upon me。
i must keep to my post； however。 i must watch this ghastly countenance—these blue； still lips forbidden to unclose—these eyes now shut； now opening； now wandering through the room； now fixing on me； and ever glazed with the dulness of horror。 i must dip my hand again and again in the basin of blood and water； and wipe away the trickling gore。 i must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on my employment； the shadows darken on the wrought； antique tapestry round me； and grow black under the hangings of the vast old bed； and quiver strangely over the doors of a great cabinet opposite—whose front； divided into twelve panels； bore； in grim design； the heads of the twelve apostles； each enclosed in its separate panel as in a frame； while above them at the top rose an ebon crucifix and a dying christ。
according as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here or glanced there； it was now the bearded physician； luke； that bent his brow； now st。 john’s long hair that waved； and anon the devilish face of judas； that grew out of the panel； and seemed gathering life and threatening a revelation of the arch…traitor—of satan himself—in his subordinate’s form。
amidst all this； i had to listen as well as watch： to listen for the movements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder side den。 but since mr。 rochester’s visit it seemed spellbound： all the night i heard but three sounds at three long intervals；—a step creak； a momentary renewal of the snarling； canine noise； and a deep human groan。
then my own thoughts worried me。 what crime was this that lived incarnate in this sequestered mansion； and could neither be expelled nor subdued by the owner？—what mystery； that broke out now in fire and now in blood； at the deadest hours of night？ what creature was it； that； masked in an ordinary woman’s face and shape； uttered the voice； now of a mocking demon； and anon of a carrion…seeking bird of prey？
and this man i bent over—this monplace； quiet stranger—how had he bee involved in the web of horror？ and why had the fury flown at him？ what made him seek this quarter of the house at an untimely season； when he should have been asleep in bed？ i had heard mr。 rochester assign him an apartment below—what brought him here！ and why； now； was he so tame under the violence or treachery done him？ why did he so quietly submit to the concealment mr。 rochester enforced？ why did mr。 rochester enforce this concealment？ his guest had been outraged； his own life on a former occasion had been hideously plotted against； and both attempts he smothered in secrecy and sank in oblivion！ ly； i saw mr。 mason was submissive to mr。 rochester； that the impetuous will of the latter held plete sway over the ine