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lady lynn had remarked; “it is mr。 rochester’s ward; i suppose—the little french girl he was speaking of。”
mrs。 dent had kindly taken her hand; and given her a kiss。
amy and louisa eshton had cried out simultaneously—“what a love of a child!”
and then they had called her to a sofa; where she now sat; ensconced between them; chattering alternately in french and broken english; absorbing not only the young ladies’ attention; but that of mrs。 eshton and lady lynn; and getting spoilt to her heart’s content。
at last coffee is brought in; and the gentlemen are summoned。 i sit in the shade—if any shade there be in this brilliantly…lit apartment; the window…curtain half hides me。 again the arch yawns; they e。 the collective appearance of the gentlemen; like that of the ladies; is very imposing: they are all costumed in black; most of them are tall; some young。 henry and frederick lynn are very dashing sparks indeed; and colonel dent is a fine soldierly man。 mr。 eshton; the magistrate of the district; is gentleman…like: his hair is quite white; his eyebrows and whiskers still dark; which gives him something of the appearance of a “père noble de théatre。” lord ingram; like his sisters; is very tall; like them; also; he is handsome; but he shares mary’s apathetic and listless look: he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood or vigour of brain。
and where is mr。 rochester?
he es in last: i am not looking at the arch; yet i see him enter。 i try to concentrate my attention on those netting…needles; on the meshes of the purse i am forming—i wish to think only of the work i have in my hands; to see only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in my lap; whereas; i distinctly behold his figure; and i inevitably recall the moment when i last saw it; just after i had rendered him; what he deemed; an essential service; and he; holding my hand; and looking down on my face; surveyed me with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to overflow; in whose emotions i had a part。 how near had i approached him at that moment! what had occurred since; calculated to change his and my relative positions? yet now; how distant; how far estranged we were! so far estranged; that i did not expect him to e and speak to me。 i did not wonder; when; without looking at me; he took a seat at the other side of the room; and began conversing with some of the ladies。
no sooner did i see that his attention was riveted on them; and that i might gaze without being observed; than my eyes were drawn involuntarily to his face; i could not keep their lids under control: they would rise; and the irids would fix on him。 i looked; and had an acute pleasure in looking;—a precious yet poignant pleasure; pure gold; with a steely point of agony: a pleasure like what the thirst…perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned; yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless。
most true is it that “beauty is in the eye of the gazer。” my master’s colourless; olive face; square; massive brow; broad and jetty eyebrows; deep eyes; strong features; firm; grim mouth;—all energy; decision; will;—were not beautiful; according to rule; but they were more than beautiful to me; they were full of an interest; an influence that quite mastered me;—that took my feelings from my own power and fettered them in his。 i had not intended to love him; the reader knows i had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now; at the first renewed view of him; they spontaneously arrived; green and strong! he made me love him without looking at me。
i pared him with his guests。 what was the gallant grace of the lynns; the languid elegance of lord ingram;—even the military distinction of colonel dent; contrasted with his look of native pith and genuine power? i had no sympathy in their appearance; their expression: yet i could imagine that most observers would call them attractive; handsome; imposing; while they would pronounce mr。 rochester at once harsh…featured and melancholy…looking。 i saw them smile; laugh—it was nothing; the light of the candles had as much soul in it as their smile; the tinkle of the bell as much significance as their laugh。 i saw mr。 rochester smile:… his stern features softened; his eye grew both brilliant and gentle; its ray both searching and sweet。 he was talking; at the moment; to louisa and amy eshton。 i wondered to see them receive with calm that look which seemed to me so penetrating: i expected their eyes to fall; their colour to rise under it; yet i was glad when i found they were in no sense moved。 “he is not to them what he is to me;” i thought: “he is not of their kind。 i believe he is of mine;—i am sure he is—i feel akin to him—i understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely; i have something in my brain and heart; in my blood and nerves; that assimilates me mentally to him。 did i say; a few days since; that i had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? did i forbid myself to think of him in any other light than as a paymaster? blasphemy against nature! every good; true; vigorous feeling i have gathers impulsively round him。 i know i must conceal my sentiments: i must smother hope; i must remember that he cannot care much for me。 for when i say that i am of his kind; i do not mean that i have his force to influence; and his spell to attract; i mean only that i have certain tastes and feelings in mon with him。 i must; then; repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:… and yet; while i breathe and think; i must love him。”
coffee is handed。 the ladies; since the gentlemen entered; have bee lively as larks; conversation waxes brisk and merry。 colonel dent and mr。 eshton argue on politics; their wives listen。 the two proud dowagers; lady lynn and lady ingram; confabulate together。 sir george—whom; by…the…bye; i have forgotten to describe;—a very big; and very fresh…looking country gentleman; stands before their sofa; coffee…cup in hand; and occasionally puts in a word。 mr。 frederick lynn has taken a seat beside mary ingram; and is showing her the engravings