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d not mind that; i saw it was his way。 so happy; so gratified did i bee with this new interest added to life; that i ceased to pine after kindred: my thin crescent…destiny seemed to enlarge; the blanks of existence were filled up; my bodily health improved; i gathered flesh and strength。
and was mr。 rochester now ugly in my eyes? no; reader: gratitude; and many associations; all pleasurable and genial; made his face the object i best liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the brightest fire。 yet i had not forgotten his faults; indeed; i could not; for he brought them frequently before me。 he was proud; sardonic; harsh to inferiority of every description: in my secret soul i knew that his great kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others。 he was moody; too; unaccountably so; i more than once; when sent for to read to him; found him sitting in his library alone; with his head bent on his folded arms; and; when he looked up; a morose; almost a malignant; scowl blackened his features。 but i believed that his moodiness; his harshness; and his former faults of morality (i say former; for now he seemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate。 i believed he was naturally a man of better tendencies; higher principles; and purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed; education instilled; or destiny encouraged。 i thought there were excellent materials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat spoiled and tangled。 i cannot deny that i grieved for his grief; whatever that was; and would have given much to assuage it。
though i had now extinguished my candle and was laid down in bed; i could not sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue; and told how his destiny had risen up before him; and dared him to be happy at thornfield。
“why not?” i asked myself。 “what alienates him from the house? will he leave it again soon? mrs。 fairfaaid he seldom stayed here longer than a fortnight at a time; and he has now been resident eight weeks。 if he does go; the change will be doleful。 suppose he should be absent spring; summer; and autumn: how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem!”
i hardly know whether i had slept or not after this musing; at any rate; i started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur; peculiar and lugubrious; which sounded; i thought; just above me。 i wished i had kept my candle burning: the night was drearily dark; my spirits were depressed。 i rose and sat up in bed; listening。 the sound was hushed。
i tried again to sleep; but my heart beat anxiously: my inward tranquillity was broken。 the clock; far down in the hall; struck two。 just then it seemed my chamber…door was touched; as if fingers had swept the panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside。 i said; “who is there?” nothing answered。 i was chilled with fear。
all at once i remembered that it might be pilot; who; when the kitchen…door chanced to be left open; not unfrequently found his way up to the threshold of mr。 rochester’s chamber: i had seen him lying there myself in the mornings。 the idea calmed me somewhat: i lay down。 silence poses the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through the whole house; i began to feel the return of slumber。 but it was not fated that i should sleep that night。 a dream had scarcely approached my ear; when it fled affrighted; scared by a marrow…freezing incident enough。
this was a demoniac laugh—low; suppressed; and deep—uttered; as it seemed; at the very keyhole of my chamber door。 the head of my bed was near the door; and i thought at first the goblin…laugher stood at my bedside—or rather; crouched by my pillow: but i rose; looked round; and could see nothing; while; as i still gazed; the unnatural sound was reiterated: and i knew it came from behind the panels。 my first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt; my next; again to cry out; “who is there?”
something gurgled and moaned。 ere long; steps retreated up the gallery towards the third…storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut in that staircase; i heard it open and close; and all was still。
“was that grace poole? and is she possessed with a devil?” thought i。 impossible now to remain longer by myself: i must go to mrs。 fairfax。 i hurried on my frock and a shawl; i withdrew the bolt and opened the door with a trembling hand。 there was a candle burning just outside; and on the matting in the gallery。 i was surprised at this circumstance: but still more was i amazed to perceive the air quite dim; as if filled with smoke; and; while looking to the right hand and left; to find whence these blue wreaths issued; i became further aware of a strong smell of burning。
something creaked: it was a door ajar; and that door was mr。 rochester’s; and the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence。 i thought no more of mrs。 fairfax; i thought no more of grace poole; or the laugh: in an instant; i was within the chamber。 tongues of flame darted round the bed: the curtains were on fire。 in the midst of blaze and vapour; mr。 rochester lay stretched motionless; in deep sleep。
“wake! wake!” i cried。 i shook him; but he only murmured and turned: the smoke had stupefied him。 not a moment could be lost: the very sheets were kindling; i rushed to his basin and ewer; fortunately; one was wide and the other deep; and both were filled with water。 i heaved them up; deluged the bed and its occupant; flew back to my own room; brought my own water…jug; baptized the couch afresh; and; by god’s aid; succeeded in extinguishing the flames which were devouring it。
the hiss of the quenched element; the breakage of a pitcher which i flung from my hand when i had emptied it; and; above all; the splash of the shower…bath i had liberally bestowed; roused mr。 rochester at last。 though it was now dark; i knew he was awake; because i heard him fulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of water。
“is there a flood?” he cried。
“no; sir;” i answered; “but there has been a fire: get up; do; you are quenched now; i will fetch you a candle。”
“in the name of all the elves in christendom; is that jane eyre?” he demand