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Jane Eyre-第141章

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e and brooding—that reminded me of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird; dangerous to approach in his sullen woe。 the caged eagle; whose gold…ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished; might look as looked that sightless samson。

and; reader; do you think i feared him in his blind ferocity?—if you do; you little know me。 a soft hope blest with my sorrow that soon i should dare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock; and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath it: but not yet。 i would not accost him yet。

he descended the one step; and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the grass…plat。 where was his daring stride now? then he paused; as if he knew not which way to turn。 he lifted his hand and opened his eyelids; gazed blank; and with a straining effort; on the sky; and toward the amphitheatre of trees: one saw that all to him was void darkness。 he stretched his right hand (the left arm; the mutilated one; he kept hidden in his bosom); he seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around him: he met but vacancy still; for the trees were some yards off where he stood。 he relinquished the endeavour; folded his arms; and stood quiet and mute in the rain; now falling fast on his uncovered head。 at this moment john approached him from some quarter。

“will you take my arm; sir?” he said; “there is a heavy shower ing on: had you not better go in?”

“let me alone;” was the answer。

john withdrew without having observed me。 mr。 rochester now tried to walk about: vainly;—all was too uncertain。 he groped his way back to the house; and; re…entering it; closed the door。

i now drew near and knocked: john’s wife opened for me。 “mary;” i said; “how are you?”

she started as if she had seen a ghost: i calmed her。 to her hurried “is it really you; miss; e at this late hour to this lonely place?” i answered by taking her hand; and then i followed her into the kitchen; where john now sat by a good fire。 i explained to them; in few words; that i had heard all which had happened since i left thornfield; and that i was e to see mr。 rochester。 i asked john to go down to the turn…pike…house; where i had dismissed the chaise; and bring my trunk; which i had left there: and then; while i removed my bonnet and shawl; i questioned mary as to whether i could be acmodated at the manor house for the night; and finding that arrangements to that effect; though difficult; would not be impossible; i informed her i should stay。 just at this moment the parlour…bell rang。

“when you go in;” said i; “tell your master that a person wishes to speak to him; but do not give my name。”

“i don’t think he will see you;” she answered; “he refuses everybody。”

when she returned; i inquired what he had said。 “you are to send in your name and your business;” she replied。 she then proceeded to fill a glass with water; and place it on a tray; together with candles。

“is that what he rang for?” i asked。

“yes: he always has candles brought in at dark; though he is blind。”

“give the tray to me; i will carry it in。”

i took it from her hand: she pointed me out the parlour door。 the tray shook as i held it; the water spilt from the glass; my heart struck my ribs loud and fast。 mary opened the door for me; and shut it behind me。

this parlour looked gloomy: a neglected handful of fire burnt low in the grate; and; leaning over it; with his head supported against the high; old…fashioned mantelpiece; appeared the blind tenant of the room。 his old dog; pilot; lay on one side; removed out of the way; and coiled up as if afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon。 pilot pricked up his ears when i came in: then he jumped up with a yelp and a whine; and bounded towards me: he almost knocked the tray from my hands。 i set it on the table; then patted him; and said softly; “lie down!” mr。 rochester turned mechanically to see what the motion was: but as he saw nothing; he returned and sighed。

“give me the water; mary;” he said。

i approached him with the now only half…filled glass; pilot followed me; still excited。

“what is the matter?” he inquired。

“down; pilot!” i again said。 he checked the water on its way to his lips; and seemed to listen: he drank; and put the glass down。 “this is you; mary; is it not?”

“mary is in the kitchen;” i answered。

he put out his hand with a quick gesture; but not seeing where i stood; he did not touch me。 “who is this? who is this?” he demanded; trying; as it seemed; to see with those sightless eyes— unavailing and distressing attempt! “answer me—speak again!” he ordered; imperiously and aloud。

“will you have a little more water; sir? i spilt half of what was in the glass;” i said。

“who is it? what is it? who speaks?”

“pilot knows me; and john and mary know i am here。 i came only this evening;” i answered。

“great god!—what delusion has e over me? what sweet madness has seized me?”

“no delusion—no madness: your mind; sir; is too strong for delusion; your health too sound for frenzy。”

“and where is the speaker? is it only a voice? oh! i cannot see; but i must feel; or my heart will stop and my brain burst。 whatever—whoever you are—be perceptible to the touch or i cannot live!”

he groped; i arrested his wandering hand; and prisoned it in both mine。

“her very fingers!” he cried; “her small; slight fingers! if so there must be more of her。”

the muscular hand broke from my custody; my arm was seized; my shoulder—neck—waist—i was entwined and gathered to him。

“is it jane? what is it? this is her shape—this is her size—”

“and this her voice;” i added。 “she is all here: her heart; too。 god bless you; sir! i am glad to be so near you again。”

“jane eyre!—jane eyre;” was all he said。

“my dear master;” i answered; “i am jane eyre: i have found you out—i am e back to you。”

“in truth?—in the flesh? my living jane?”

“you touch me; sir;—you hold me; and fast enough: i am not cold like a corpse; nor vacant like air; am i?”

“my living darling! these are certainly her limbs; and these her features; but i cannot be so blest; after all my misery。 it is a dream; such dreams as i have ha
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