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on his pale brow and cheek as pale; where it grieved me to discover the hollow trace of care or sorrow now so plainly graved。 i waited; expecting he would say something i could at least prehend; but his hand was now at his chin; his finger on his lip: he was thinking。 it struck me that his hand looked wasted like his face。 a perhaps uncalled…for gush of pity came over my heart: i was moved to say—
“i wish diana or mary would e and live with you: it is too bad that you should be quite alone; and you are recklessly rash about your own health。”
“not at all;” said he: “i care for myself when necessary。 i am well now。 what do you see amiss in me?”
this was said with a careless; abstracted indifference; which showed that my solicitude was; at least in his opinion; wholly superfluous。 i was silenced。
he still slowly moved his finger over his upper lip; and still his eye dwelt dreamily on the glowing grate; thinking it urgent to say something; i asked him presently if he felt any cold draught from the door; which was behind him。
“no; no!” he responded shortly and somewhat testily。
“well;” i reflected; “if you won’t talk; you may be still; i’ll let you alone now; and return to my book。”
so i snuffed the candle and resumed the perusal of “marmion。” he soon stirred; my eye was instantly drawn to his movements; he only took out a morocco pocket…book; thence produced a letter; which he read in silence; folded it; put it back; relapsed into meditation。 it was vain to try to read with such an inscrutable fixture before me; nor could i; in impatience; consent to be dumb; he might rebuff me if my he liked; but talk i would。
“have you heard from diana and mary lately?”
“not since the letter i showed you a week ago。”
“there has not been any change made about your own arrangements? you will not be summoned to leave england sooner than you expected?”
“i fear not; indeed: such chance is too good to befall me。” baffled so far; i changed my ground。 i bethought myself to talk about the school and my scholars。
“mary garrett’s mother is better; and mary came back to the school this morning; and i shall have four new girls next week from the foundry close—they would have e to…day but for the snow。”
“indeed!”
“mr。 oliver pays for two。”
“does he?”
“he means to give the whole school a treat at christmas。”
“i know。”
“was it your suggestion?”
“no。”
“whose; then?”
“his daughter’s; i think。”
“it is like her: she is so good…natured。”
“yes。”
again came the blank of a pause: the clock struck eight strokes。 it aroused him; he uncrossed his legs; sat erect; turned to me。
“leave your book a moment; and e a little nearer the fire;” he said。
wondering; and of my wonder finding no end; i plied。
“half…an…hour ago;” he pursued; “i spoke of my impatience to hear the sequel of a tale: on reflection; i find the matter will be better managed by my assuming the narrator’s part; and converting you into a listener。 before mencing; it is but fair to warn you that the story will sound somewhat hackneyed in your ears; but stale details often regain a degree of freshness when they pass through new lips。 for the rest; whether trite or novel; it is short。
“twenty years ago; a poor curate—never mind his name at this moment—fell in love with a rich man’s daughter; she fell in love with him; and married him; against the advice of all her friends; who consequently disowned her immediately after the wedding。 before two years passed; the rash pair were both dead; and laid quietly side by side under one slab。 (i have seen their grave; it formed part of the pavement of a huge churchyard surrounding the grim; soot…black old cathedral of an overgrown manufacturing town in — shire。) they left a daughter; which; at its very birth; charity received in her lap—cold as that of the snow…drift i almost stuck fast in to…night。 charity carried the friendless thing to the house of its rich maternal relations; it was reared by an aunt…in…law; called (i e to names now) mrs。 reed of gateshead。 you start—did you hear a noise? i daresay it is only a rat scrambling along the rafters of the adjoining schoolroom: it was a barn before i had it repaired and altered; and barns are generally haunted by rats。—to proceed。 mrs。 reed kept the orphan ten years: whether it was happy or not with her; i cannot say; never having been told; but at the end of that time she transferred it to a place you know—being no other than lowood school; where you so long resided yourself。 it seems her career there was very honourable: from a pupil; she became a teacher; like yourself—really it strikes me there are parallel points in her history and yours—she left it to be a governess: there; again; your fates were analogous; she undertook the education of the ward of a certain mr。 rochester。”
“mr。 rivers!” i interrupted。
“i can guess your feelings;” he said; “but restrain them for a while: i have nearly finished; hear me to the end。 of mr。 rochester’s character i know nothing; but the one fact that he professed to offer honourable marriage to this young girl; and that at the very altar she discovered he had a wife yet alive; though a lunatic。 what his subsequent conduct and proposals were is a matter of pure conjecture; but when an event transpired which rendered inquiry after the governess necessary; it was discovered she was gone—no one could tell when; where; or how。 she had left thornfield hall in the night; every research after her course had been vain: the country had been scoured far and wide; no vestige of information could be gathered respecting her。 yet that she should be found is bee a matter of serious urgency: advertisements have been put in all the papers; i myself have received a letter from one mr。 briggs; a solicitor; municating the details i have just imparted。 is it not an odd tale?”
“just tell me this;” said i; “and since you know so much; you surely can tell it me—what of mr。 rochester? how and where is he? what is he doing? is he well?”
“i am ignorant of all concerning mr。 rochester: the letter never mentions him but to narrate the fraudul