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magined it a man。 finding my apprehensions unfounded； however； and calmed by the deep silence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall； i took confidence。 as yet i had not thought； i had only listened； watched； dreaded； now i regained the faculty of reflection。
what was i to do？ where to go？ oh； intolerable questions； when i could do nothing and go nowhere！—when a long way must yet be measured by my weary； trembling limbs before i could reach human habitation—when cold charity must be entreated before i could get a lodging： reluctant sympathy importuned； almost certain repulse incurred； before my tale could be listened to； or one of my wants relieved！
i touched the heath； it was dry； and yet warm with the beat of the summer day。 i looked at the sky； it was pure： a kindly star twinkled just above the chasm ridge。 the dew fell； but with propitious softness； no breeze whispered。 nature seemed to me benign and good； i thought she loved me； outcast as i was； and i； who from man could anticipate only mistrust； rejection； insult； clung to her with filial fondness。 to…night； at least； i would be her guest； as i was her child： my mother would lodge me without money and without price。 i had one morsel of bread yet： the remnant of a roll i had bought in a town we passed through at noon with a stray penny—my last coin。 i saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and there； like jet beads in the heath： i gathered a handful and ate them with the bread。 my hunger； sharp before； was； if not satisfied； appeased by this hermit’s meal。 i said my evening prayers at its conclusion； and then chose my couch。
beside the crag the heath was very deep： when i lay down my feet were buried in it； rising high on each side； it left only a narrow space for the night…air to invade。 i folded my shawl double； and spread it over me for a coverlet； a low； mossy swell was my pillow。 thus lodged； i was not； at least—at the mencement of the night； cold。
my rest might have been blissful enough； only a sad heart broke it。 it plained of its gaping wounds； its inward bleeding； its riven chords。 it trembled for mr。 rochester and his doom； it bemoaned him with bitter pity； it demanded him with ceaseless longing； and； impotent as a bird with both wings broken； it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain attempts to seek him。
worn out with this torture of thought； i rose to my knees。 night was e； and her planets were risen： a safe； still night： too serene for the panionship of fear。 we know that god is everywhere； but certainly we feel his presence most when his works are on the grandest scale spread before us； and it is in the unclouded night…sky； where his worlds wheel their silent course； that we read clearest his infinitude； his omnipotence； his omnipresence。 i had risen to my knees to pray for mr。 rochester。 looking up； i； with tear…dimmed eyes； saw the mighty milky…way。 remembering what it was—what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light—i felt the might and strength of god。 sure was i of his efficiency to save what he had made： convinced i grew that neither earth should perish； nor one of the souls it treasured。 i turned my prayer to thanksgiving： the source of life was also the saviour of spirits。 mr。 rochester was safe； he was god’s； and by god would he be guarded。 i again nestled to the breast of the hill； and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow。
but next day； want came to me pale and bare。 long after the little birds had left their nests； long after bees had e in the sweet prime of day to gather the heath honey before the dew was dried— when the long morning shadows were curtailed； and the sun filled earth and sky—i got up； and i looked round me。
what a still； hot； perfect day！ what a golden desert this spreading moor！ everywhere sunshine。 i wished i could live in it and on it。 i saw a lizard run over the crag； i saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries。 i would fain at the moment have bee bee or lizard； that i might have found fitting nutriment； permanent shelter here。 but i was a human being； and had a human being’s wants： i must not linger where there was nothing to supply them。 i rose； i looked back at the bed i had left。 hopeless of the future； i wished but this—that my maker had that night thought good to require my soul of me while i slept； and that this weary frame； absolved by death from further conflict with fate； had now but to decay quietly； and mingle in peace with the soil of this wilderness。 life； however； was yet in my possession； with all its requirements； and pains； and responsibilities。 the burden must be carried； the want provided for； the suffering endured； the responsibility fulfilled。 i set out。
whitcross regained； i followed a road which led from the sun； now fervent and high。 by no other circumstance had i will to decide my choice。 i walked a long time； and when i thought i had nearly done enough； and might conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered me—might relax this forced action； and； sitting down on a stone i saw near； submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb—i heard a bell chime—a church bell。
i turned in the direction of the sound； and there； amongst the romantic hills； whose changes and aspect i had ceased to note an hour ago； i saw a hamlet and a spire。 all the valley at my right hand was full of pasture…fields； and cornfields； and wood； and a glittering stream ran zig…zag through the varied shades of green； the mellowing grain； the sombre woodland； the clear and sunny lea。 recalled by the rumbling of wheels to the road before me； i saw a heavily…laden waggon labouring up the hill； and not far beyond were two cows and their drover。 human life and human labour were near。 i must struggle on： strive to live and bend to toil like the rest。
about two o’clock p。m。 i entered the village。 at the bottom of its one street there was a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window。 i coveted a cake of bread。 with that refreshment i could perhaps regain a degree of energy： without it； it would be difficult to proceed。 the wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to me as soon as i was amongst my fellow…beings。 i felt it wo