按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
and he cooked。 we’d noticed how the missus lost track of herself halfway through preparing a meal。 the vegetables would boil to a mush； then burn on the bottom of the pan。 the house was never without the smell of carbonized food。 then one day we found john in the kitchen。 the hands that we knew dirty； pulling potatoes from the ground； were now rinsing the yellow…skinned vegetables in water； peeling them； rattling pan lids at the stove。 we ate good meat or fish with plenty of vegetables； drank strong； hot tea。 the missus sat in her chair in the corner of the kitchen； with no apparent sense that these used to be her tasks。 after the washing up； when night fell； the two of them sat talking over the kitchen table。 his concerns were always the same。 what would they do？ how could they survive？ what would bee of us all？
‘don’t worry； he’ll e out；“ the missus said。
e out？ john sighed and shook his head。 he’d heard this before。 “he’s not there； missus。 he’s gone； have you forgotten already？”
‘gone！“ she shook her head and laughed as if he’d made a joke。
at the moment she first learned the fact of charlie’s departure； it had brushed her consciousness momentarily but had not found a place to settle there。 the passages； corridors and stairwells in her mind； that connected her thoughts but also held them apart； had been undermined。 picking up one end of a trail of thought； she followed it through holes in walls； slipped into tunnels that opened beneath her feet； came to vague； semipuzzled halts： wasn’t there something… ？ hadn’t she been… ？ thinking of charlie locked in the nursery； crazed with grief for love of his dead sister； she fell through a trapdoor in time； without even realizing it； into the thought of his father； newly bereaved； locked in the library to grieve for his lost wife。
‘i know how to get him out of there；“ she said with a wink。 ”i’ll take the infant to him。 that’ll do the trick。 in fact； i’ll go and look in on the baby now。“
john didn’t explain to her again that isabelle had died； for it would only bring on grief…stricken surprise and a demand to know how and why。 “an asylum？” she would exclaim； astonished。 “but why didn’t anyone tell me miss isabelle was in an asylum？ to think of the girl’s poor father！ how he dotes on her！ it will be the death of him。” and she would lose herself for hours in the shattered corridors of the past； grieving over tragedies long gone as though they had happened only yesterday； and heedless of today’s sorrows。 john had been through it half a dozen times and hadn’t the heart to go through it again。
slowly the missus raised herself out of her chair and； putting one foot painfully in front of the other； shuffled out of the room to see to the baby who； in the years her memory had lost； had grown up； married； had twins and died。 john didn’t stop her。 she would forget where she was going before she even reached the stairs。 but behind her back he put his head in his hands and sighed。
what to do？ about charlie； about the missus； about everything？ it was john’s constant preoccupation。 at the end of a week； the nursery was clean and a plan of sorts had arisen out of the evenings of deliberation。 no reports of charlie had been received； from near or far。 no one had seen him go； and no one outside the house knew he was gone。 given his hermitlike habits； no one was likely to discover his absence； either。 was he under any kind of obligation； john wondered； to inform anyone—the doctor？ the solicitor？—of charlie’s disappearance？ over and over he turned the question in his mind； and each time he found the answer to be no。 a man had the perfect right to leave his home if he so chose； and to go without telling his employees his destination。 there was no benefit john could see in telling the doctor； whose previous intervention in the household had brought nothing but ill； and as for the solicitor…
here john’s thinking out loud grew slower and more plicated。
for if charlie did not return； who would authorize the withdrawals from the bank？ john knew obscurely that the solicitor would have to be involved if charlie’s disappearance was prolonged； but yet… his reluctance was natural。 at angelfield they had lived with their backs to the world for years。 hester had been the one outsider to enter their world； and look what had happened there！ besides； he had an innate mistrust of solicitors。 john had no specific charge against mr。 lomax； who gave every appearance of being a decent； sensible chap； yet he could not find it in himself to confide the household’s difficulty to a member of a profession that made its living from having its nose in other people’s private affairs。 and besides； if charlie’s absence became public knowledge； as his strangeness already was； would the solicitor be content to put his sign on charlie’s bank papers； just so that john and the missus could continue to pay the grocery bills？ no。 he knew enough about solicitors to know that it would not be as simple as that。 john frowned as he envisaged mr。 lomax in the house； opening doors； rummaging through cupboards； casting his eye into every dark corner and carefully cultivated shadow of the angelfield world。 there would be no end to it。
and then the solicitor would need to e to the house only once to see the missus wasn’t right。 he would insist on the doctor being called in。 and the same would happen to the missus as had happened to isabelle。 she would be taken away。 how could that do any good？
no。 they had just got rid of one outsider； it was no time to invite in another。 much safer to deal with private things privately。 which meant； now that things were as they were； by himself。
there was no urgency。 the most recent withdrawal had been only a few weeks earlier； so they were not entirely without money。 also； hester had gone without collecting her wages； so that cash was available if she did not write for it and things got desperate。 there was no need to pay for a lot of food； since there were vegetables and fruit to feed an army in the garden； and the woods were full of grouse and pheasant。 and if it came to it； if there was an emergency； a calamity （john hardly