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ed to strength inside her。 the cry that had woken me； and the cries that continued to resound all around the house； were not hers but adeline’s； and they did not cease till morning； when emmeline’s infant； a boy； was delivered。
it was the seventh of january。
emmeline slept； she smiled in her sleep。
i bathed the baby。 he opened his eyes and goggled； astounded by the touch of the warm water。
the sun rose。
the time for decisions had e and gone； and no decision had been made； yet here we were； on the other side of disaster； and we were safe。
my life could go on。
。。
The Thirteenth TaleFIRE
？小｜说网
miss winter seemed to sense the arrival of judith； for when the housekeeper looked around the edge of the door； she found us in silence。 she had brought me cocoa on a tray but also offered to replace me if i wanted to sleep。 i shook my head。 “i’m all right； thanks。”
miss winter also refused when judith reminded her she could take more of the white tablets if she needed them。
when judith was gone； miss winter closed her eyes again。
‘how is the wolf？“ i asked。
‘quiet in the corner；“ she said。 ”why shouldn’t he be？ he is certain of his victory。 so he’s content to bide his time。 he knows i’m not going to make a fuss。 we’ve agreed to terms。“
‘what terms？“
‘he is going to let me finish my story； and then i am going to let him finish me。“
she told me the story of the fire； while the wolf counted down the words。
i had never given a great deal of thought to the baby before he arrived。 i had considered the practical aspects of hiding a baby in the house； certainly； and i had a plan for his future。 if we could keep him secret for a time； my intention was to allow his presence to be known later。 though it would no doubt be whispered about； he could be introduced as the orphan child of a distant member of the family； and if people chose to wonder about his exact parentage； they were free to do so； nothing they could do would force us to reveal the truth。 when making these plans； i had envisaged the baby as a difficulty that needed to be resolved。 i had not taken into account that he was my flesh and blood。 i had not expected to love him。
he was emmeline’s； that was reason enough。 he was ambrose’s。 that was a subject i did not dwell on。 but he was also mine。 i marveled at his pearly skin； at the pink jut of his lips； at the tentative movements of his tiny hands。 the ferocity of my desire to protect him overwhelmed me： i wanted to protect him for emmeline’s sake； to protect her for his sake； to protect the two of them for myself。 watching him and emmeline together； i could not drag my eyes away。 they were beautiful。 my one desire was to keep them safe。 and i soon learned that they needed a guardian to keep them safe。
adeline was jealous of the baby。 more jealous than she had been of hester； more jealous than of me。 it was only to be expected： emmeline had been fond of hester； she loved me； but neither of these affections had touched the supremacy of her feeling for adeline。 but the baby… ah； the baby was different。 the baby usurped all。
i should not have been surprised at the extent of adeline’s hatred。 i knew how ugly her anger could be； had witnessed the extent of her violence。 yet the day i first understood the lengths she might go to； i could scarcely believe it。 passing emmeline’s bedroom； i silently pushed the door open to see if she was still sleeping。 i found adeline in the room； leaning over the crib by the bed； and something in her posture alarmed me。 hearing my step； she started； then turned and rushed past me out of the room。 in her hands she clutched a small cushion。
i felt pelled to dash to the cot。 the infant was sleeping soundly； hand curled by his ear； breathing his light； delicate baby breath。
safe！
until next time。
i began to spy on adeline。 my old days of haunting came in useful again as from behind curtains and yew trees i watched her。 there was a randomness in her actions； indoors or outdoors； taking no notice of the time of day or the weather； she engaged in meaningless； repeated actions。 she was obeying dictates that were outside my understanding。 but gradually one activity came particularly to my attention。 once； twice； three times a day； she came to the coach house and left it again； carrying a can of petrol with her each time。 she took the can to the drawing room； or the library or the garden。 then she would seem to lose interest。 she knew what she was doing； but distantly； half forgetful。 when she wasn’t looking i took the cans away。 whatever did she make of the disappearing cans？ she must have thought they had some animus of their own； that they could move about at will。 or perhaps she took her memories of moving them for dreams or plans yet to be realized。 whatever the reason； she did not seem to find it strange that they were not where she had left them。 yet despite the waywardness of the petrol cans； she persisted in fetching them from the coach house； and secreting them in various places around the house。
i seemed to spend half my day returning the cans to the coach louse。 but one day； not wanting to leave emmeline and the baby asleep and unprotected； i put one instead in the library。 out of sight； behind he books； on an upper shelf。 and it occurred to me that perhaps this was a better place。 because； by always returning them to the coach house； all i was doing was ensuring that it would go on forever。 a merry…go…round。 by removing them from the circuit altogether； perhaps i might put an end to the rigmarole。
watching her tired me out； but she！ she never tired。 a little sleep went a long way with her。 she could be up and about at any hour of the night。 and i was getting sleepy。 one day； in the early evening； emmeline went to bed。 the boy was in his cot in her room。 he’d been colicky； awake and wailing all day； but now； feeling better； he slept soundly。
i drew the curtains。
it was time to go and check on adeline。 i was tired of always being vigilant。 watching emmeline and her child while they slept； watching adeline while they were awake； i hardly slept at all。 how peaceful it was in the room。 emmeline’s