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emptiness of deserts you are always surrounded by lost history。 tebu and senussi tribes had roamed there possessing wells that they guarded with great secrecy。 there were rumours of fertile lands that nestled within the desert’s interior。 arab writers in the thirteenth century spoke of zerzura。 “the oasis of little birds。” “the city of acacias。” in the book of hidden treasures； the kitab al kanuz； zerzura is depicted as a white city； “white as a dove。” look at a map of the libyan desert and you will see names。 kemal el din in ； who； almost solitary； carried out the first great modern expedition。 bagnold …。 almasy…madox …。 just north of the tropic of cancer。
we were a small clutch of a nation between the wars； mapping and re…exploring。 we gathered at dakhla and kufra as if they were bars or cafes。 an oasis society； bagnold called it。 we knew each other’s intimacies； each other’s skills and weaknesses。
we forgave bagnold everything for the way he wrote about dunes。 “the grooves and the corrugated sand resemble the hollow of the roof of a dog’s mouth。” that was the real bagnold； a man who would put his inquiring hand into the jaws of a dog。
our first journey； moving south from jaghbub into the desert among the preserve of zwaya and majabra’s tribes。 a seven…day journey to el taj。 madox and bermann； four others。 some camels a horse and a dog。 as we left they told us the old joke。 “to start a journey in a sandstorm is good luck。” we camped the first night twenty miles south。 the next morning we woke and came out of our tents at five。 too cold to sleep。 we stepped towards the fires and sat in their light in the larger darkness。 above us were the last stars。 there would be no sunrise for another two hours。 we passed around hot glasses of tea。 the camels were being fed； half asleep； chewing the dates along with the date stones。 we ate breakfast and then drank three more glasses of tea。
hours later we were in the sandstorm that hit us out of clear morning； ing from nowhere。 the breeze that had been refreshing had gradually strengthened。 eventually we looked down； and the surface of the desert was changed。 pass me the book。。。 here。 this is hassanein bey’s wonderful account of such storms— “it is as though the surface were underlaid with steam…pipes； with thousands of orifices through which tiny jets of steam are puffing out。 the sand leaps in little spurts and whirls。 inch by inch the disturbance rises as the wind increases its force。 it seems as though the whole surface of the desert were rising in obedience to some upthrusting force beneath。 larger pebbles strike against the shins； the knees； the thighs。 the sand…grains climb the body till it strikes the face and goes over the head。 the sky is shut out； all but the nearest objects fade from view； the universe is filled。” we had to keep moving。 if you pause sand builds up as it would around anything stationary； and locks you in。 you are lost forever。 a sandstorm can last five hours。 even when we were in trucks in later years we would have to keep driving with no vision。 the worst terrors came at night。 once； north of kufra； we were hit by a storm in the darkness。 three a。m。 the gale swept the tents from their moorings and we rolled with them； taking in sand like a sinking boat takes in water； weighed down； suffocating； till we were cut free by a camel driver。
we travelled through three storms during nine days。 we missed small desert towns where we expected to locate more supplies。 the horse vanished。 three of the camels died。 for the last two days there was no food； only tea。 the last link with any other world was the clink of the fire…black tea urn and the long spoon and the glass which came towards us in the darkness of the mornings。 after the third night we gave up talking。 all that mattered was the fire and the minimal brown liquid。
only by luck did we stumble on the desert town of el taj。 i walked through the souk； the alley of clocks chiming； into the street of barometers； past the rifle…cartridge stalls； stands of italian tomato sauce and other tinned food from benghazi； calico from egypt； ostrich…tail decorations； street dentists； book merchants。 we were still mute； each of us dispersing along our own paths。 we received this new world slowly； as if ing out of a drowning。 in the central square of el taj we sat and ate lamb； rice； badawi cakes； and drank milk with almond pulp beaten into it。 all this after the long wait for three ceremonial glasses of tea flavoured with amber and mint。
sometime in i joined a bedouin caravan and was told there was another one of us there。 fenelon…barnes； it turned out。
i went to his tent。 he was out for the day on some small expedition； cataloguing fossil trees。 i looked around his tent； the sheaf of maps； the photos he always carried of his family； et cetera。 as i was leaving i saw a mirror tacked up high against the skin wall； and looking at it i saw the reflection of the bed。 there seemed to be a small lump； a dog possibly； under the covers。 i pulled back the djellaba and there was a small arab girl tied up； sleeping there。
by ； bagnold was finished and madox and the rest of us were everywhere。 looking for the lost army of cambyses。
looking for zerzura。 and and
not seeing each other for months。 just the bedouin and us； crisscrossing the forty days road。 there were rivers of desert tribes； the most beautiful humans i’ve met in my life。 we were german； english； hungarian； african—all of us insignificant to them。 gradually we became nationless。 i came to hate nations。 we are deformed by nation…states。 madox died because of nations。
the desert could not be claimed or owned—it was a piece of cloth carried by winds； never held down by stones； and given a hundred shifting names long before canterbury existed； long before battles and treaties quilted europe and the east。 its caravans； those strange rambling feasts and cultures； left nothing behind； not an ember。 all of us； even those with european homes and children in the distance； wished to remove the clothing of our countries。 it was a place of faith。 we disappeared into landscape。 fire and sand。 we left the harbours of oasis。