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THE AMBER SPYGLASS-第72章

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them to agree to。〃

his words fell into lyras mind like heavy stones; and will; too; felt the deadly weight of them。

〃how should we do that?〃 he said。

〃youve only got to wish for it; and the thing is done。〃

〃wait;〃 said tialys。

every eye turned to him; and those deaths lying on the floor sat up to turn their blank; mild faces to his tiny; passionate one。 he was standing close by salmakia; his hand on her shoulder。 lyra could see what he was thinking: he was going to say that this had gone too far; they must turn back; they were taking this foolishness to irresponsible lengths。

so she stepped in。 〃excuse me;〃 she said to the man peter; 〃but me and our friend the chevalier; weve got to go outside for a minute; because he needs to talk to his friends in the moon through my special instrument。 we wont be long。〃

and she picked him up carefully; avoiding his spurs; and took him outside into the dark; where a loose piece of corrugated iron roofing was banging in the cold wind with a melancholy sound。

〃you must stop;〃 he said as she set him on an upturned oil drum; in the feeble light of one of those anbaric bulbs that swung on its cable overhead。 〃this is far enough。 no more。〃

〃but we made an agreement;〃 lyra said。

〃no; no。 not to these lengths。〃

〃all right。 leave us。 you fly on back。 will can cut a window into your world; or any world you like; and you can fly through and be safe; thats all right; we dont mind。〃

〃do you realize what youre doing?〃

〃yes。〃

〃you dont。 youre a thoughtless; irresponsible; lying child。 fantasy es so easily to you that your whole nature is riddled with dishonesty; and you dont even admit the truth when it stares you in the face。 well; if you cant see it; ill tell you plainly: you cannot; you must not risk your death。 you must e back with us now。 ill call lord asriel and we can be safe in the fortress in hours。〃

lyra felt a great sob of rage building up in her chest; and stamped her foot; unable to keep still。

〃you dont know;〃 she cried; 〃you just dont know what i got in my head or my heart; do you? i dont know if you people ever have children; maybe you lay eggs or something; i wouldnt be surprised; because youre not kind; youre not generous; youre not considerate; youre not cruel; even; that would be better; if you were cruel; because itd mean you took us serious; you didnt just go along with us when it suited you。。。 oh; i cant trust you at all now! you said youd help and wed do it together; and now you want to stop us; youre the dishonest one; tialys!〃

〃i wouldnt let a child of my own speak to me in the insolent; high…handed way youre speaking; lyra; why i havent punished you before。。。”

〃then go ahead! punish me; since you can! take your bloody spurs and dig em in hard; go on! heres my hand; do it! you got no idea whats in my heart; you proud; selfish creature; you got no notion how i feel sad and wicked and sorry about my friend roger; you kill people just like that;” she snapped her finger; 〃they dont matter to you; but its a torment and a sorrow to me that i never said good…bye to him; and i want to say sorry and make it as good as i can; youd never understand that; for all your pride; for all your grown…up cleverness; and if i have to die to do whats proper; then i will; and be happy while i do。 i seen worse than that。 so if you want to kill me; you hard man; you strong man; you poison bearer; you chevalier; you do it; go on; kill me。 then me and roger can play in the land of the dead forever; and laugh at you; you pitiful thing。〃

what tialys might have done then wasnt hard to see; for he was ablaze from head to foot with a

passionate anger; shaking with it; but he didnt have time to move before a voice spoke behind lyra; and they both felt a chill fall over them。 lyra turned around; knowing what shed see and dreading it despite her bravado。

the death stood very close; smiling kindly; his face exactly like those of all the others shed seen; but this was hers; her very own death; and pantalaimon at her breast howled and shivered; and his ermine shape flowed up around her neck and tried to push her away from the death。 but by doing that; he only pushed himself closer; and realizing it; he shrank back toward her again; to her warm throat and the strong pulse of her heart。

lyra clutched him to her and faced the death directly。 she couldnt remember what hed said; and out of the corner of her eye; she could see tialys quickly preparing the lodestone resonator; busy。

〃youre my death; ent you?〃 she said。

〃yes; my dear;〃 he said。

〃you ent going to take me yet; are you?〃

〃you wanted me。 i am always here。〃

〃yes; but。。。 i did; yes; but。。。 i want to go to the land of the dead; thats true。 but not to die。 i dont want to die。 i love being alive; and i love my daemon; and 。。。 daemons dont go down there; do they? i seen em vanish and just go out like candles when people die。 do they have daemons in the land of the dead?〃

〃no;〃 he said。 〃your daemon vanishes into the air; and you vanish under the ground。〃

〃then i want to take my daemon with me when i go to the land of the dead;〃 she said firmly。 〃and i want to e back again。 has it ever been known; for people to do that?〃

〃not for many; many ages。 eventually; child; you will e to the land of the dead with no effort; no risk; a safe; calm journey; in the pany of your own death; your special; devoted friend; whos been beside you every moment of your life; who knows you better than yourself。。。”

〃but pantalaimon is my special and devoted friend! i dont know you; death; i know pan and i love pan and if he ever; if we ever。。。”

the death was nodding。 he seemed interested and kindly; but she couldnt for a moment forget what he was: her very own death; and so close。

〃i know itll be an effort to go on now;〃 she said more steadily; 〃and dangerous; but i want to; death; i do truly。 and so does will。 we both had people taken away too soon; and we need to make amends; at least i do。〃

〃everyone wishes they could speak again to those whove gone to the land of the dead。 why should there be an exception for you?〃

〃because;〃 she began; lying; 〃because theres something ive got to d
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