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like handing it over to em and saying； go on； use it； we wont stop you。 all right； we dont know what it does； but i can ask the alethiometer； cant i？ then wed know。 and we could think about it properly； instead of just guessing and being afraid。〃
will didnt want to mention his own most pressing reason： if the knife was not repaired； he might never get home； never see his mother again； she would never know what had happened； shed think hed abandoned her as his father had done。 the knife would have been directly responsible for both their desertions。 he must use it to return to her； or never forgive himself。
iorek byrnison said nothing for a long time； but turned his head to look out at the darkness。 then he slowly got to his feet and stalked to the cave mouth； and looked up at the stars： some the same as those he knew； from the north； and some that were strange to him。
behind him； lyra turned the meat over on the fire； and will looked at his wounds； to see how they were healing。 tialys and salmakia sat silent on their ledge。
then iorek turned around。
〃very well； i shall do it on one condition；〃 he said。 〃though i feel it is a mistake。 my people have no gods； no ghosts or daemons。 we live and die and that is that。 human affairs bring us nothing but sorrow and trouble； but we have language and we make war and we use tools； maybe we should take sides。 but full knowledge is better than half…knowledge。 lyra； read your instrument。 know what it is that youre asking。 if you still want it then； i shall mend the knife。〃
at once lyra took out the alethiometer and edged nearer to the fire so that she could see the face。 the reading took her longer than usual； and when she blinked and sighed and came out of the trance； her face was troubled。
〃i never known it so confused；〃 she said。 〃there was lots of things it said。 i think i got it clear。 i think so。 it said about balance first。 it said the knife could be harmful or it could do good； but it was so slight； such a delicate kind of a balance； that the faintest thought or wish could tip it one way or the other。。。and it meant you； will； it meant what you wished or thought； only it didnt say what would be a good thought or a bad one。
〃then。。。 it said yes；〃 she said； her eyes flashing at the spies。 〃it said yes； do it； repair the knife。〃
iorek looked at her steadily and then nodded once。
tialys and salmakia climbed down to watch more closely； and lyra said； 〃dyou need more fuel； iorek？ me and will could go and fetch some； im sure。〃
will understood what she meant： away from the spies they could talk。
iorek said； 〃below the first spur on the track； there is a bush with resinous wood。 bring as much of that as you can。〃
she jumped up at once； and will went with her。
the moon was brilliant； the path a track of scumbled footprints in the snow； the air cutting and cold。 both of them felt brisk and hopeful and alive。 they didnt talk till they were well away from the cave。
〃what else did it say？〃 will said。
〃it said some things i didnt understand then and i still dont understand now。 it said the knife would be the death of dust； but then it said it was the only way to keep dust alive。 i didnt understand it； will。 but it said again it was dangerous； it kept saying that。 it said if we； you know； what i thought。。。”
〃if we go to the world of the dead。。。”
〃yeah； if we do that； it said that we might never e back； will。 we might not survive。〃
he said nothing； and they walked along more soberly now； watching out for the bush that iorek had mentioned； and silenced by the thought of what they might be taking on。
〃weve got to； though；〃 he said； 〃havent we？〃
〃i dont know。〃
〃now we know； i mean。 you have to speak to roger； and i want to speak to my father。 we have to； now。〃
〃im frightened；〃 she said。
and he knew shed never admit that to anyone else。
〃did it say what would happen if we didnt？〃 he asked。
〃just emptiness； just blankness。 i really didnt understand it； will。 but i think it meant that even if it is that dangerous； we should still try and rescue roger。 but it wont be like when i rescued him from bolvangar； i didnt know what i was doing then； really； i just set off； and i was lucky。 i mean there was all kinds of other people to help； like the gyptians and the witches。 there wont be any help where wed have to go。 and i can see。。。 in my dream i saw。。。 the place was。。。 it was worse than bolvangar。 thats why im afraid。〃
〃what im afraid of；〃 said will after a minute； not looking at her at all； 〃is getting stuck somewhere and never seeing my mother again。〃
from nowhere a memory came to him： he was very young； and it was before her troubles began； and he was ill。 all night long； it seemed； his mother had sat on his bed in the dark； singing nursery rhymes； telling him stories； and as long as her dear voice was there； he knew he was safe。 he couldnt abandon her now。 he couldnt！ hed look after her all his life long if she needed it。
and as if lyra had known what he was thinking； she said warmly：
〃yeah； thats true； that would be awful。。。 you know； with my mother； i never realized。。。 i just grew up on my own； really； i dont remember anyone ever holding me or cuddling me； it was just me and pan as far back as i can go。。。 i cant remember mrs。 lonsdale being like that to me； she was the housekeeper at jordan college； all she did was make sure i was clean； thats all she thought about。。。 oh； and manners。。。 but in the cave； will； i really felt； oh； its strange； i know shes done terrible things； but i really felt she was loving me and looking after me。。。 she must have thought i was going to die； being asleep all that time； i suppose i mustve caught some disease； but she never stopped looking after me。 and i remember waking up once or twice and she was holding me in her arms。。。 i do remember that； im sure。。。 thats what id do in her place； if i had a child。〃
so she didnt know why shed been asleep all that time。 should he tell her； and betray that memory； even if it was false？ no； of course he shouldnt。
〃is that the bush？〃 lyra said。
the moonlight was brilliant enough to show every leaf。 will snapped off a twig； and the piney re