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with a hammer one more time an it look like here i go again。
they flown me down to houston； texas； in a big ole plane with nobody on it but me an
doctor duke； but it is a pleasant sort of trip cept they got me chained to my seat han an foot。
〃look here； forrest；〃 doctor duke say； 〃the deal is this。 right now you is in a shitpot of
trouble for thowin that medal at the clerk of the u。s。 senate。 you can go to jail for ten years for
that。 but if you cooperates with these people at nasa； i will personally see to it that you is
released— okay？〃
i nod my head。 i knowed i got to get outta jail an find jenny again。 i am missin her somethin
terrible。
i am at the nasa place at houston for about a month。 they has examined me an tested me
an questioned me so much i feel like i am goin on the johnny carson show。
i ain'；t。
one day they haul me into a big room an tell me what they has in mind。
〃gump；〃 they say； 〃we wants to use you on a flight to outer space。 as doctor duke has
pointed out； your mind is jus like a puter— only better。 if we can program it with the right
stuff； you will be extremely useful to america'；s space program。 what do you say？〃
i thought for a minute； an then i says i had better axe my mama first； but they make an even
stronger argument— like spendin the next ten years of my life in the slammer。
an so i says yes； which is usually what gets me in trouble ever time。
the idea they has thought up is to put me in a spaceship an shoot me up aroun the earth bout
a million miles。 they has already shot people up to the moon； but they didn'；t find nothin there
worth a shit； so what they is plannin nex is a visit to mars。 fortunately for me； mars is not what
they got in mind at the moment— instead； this is to be a sort of trainin mission in which they
gonna try to figger out what kind of folks would be suited best for the mars trip。
besides me； they has picked a woman an a ape to go along。
the woman is a crabby…lookin lady called major janet fritch； who is sposed to be america'；s
first woman astronaut； only nobody knows bout her cause all this be pretty top secret。 she is a
sort of short lady with hair look like it been cut by puttin a bowl over her head； an she don'；t seem
to have much use for either me or the ape。
the ape ain'；t so bad； actually。 it is a big ole female orangutang called sue； what has been
captured in the jungles of sumatra or someplace。 actually they has got a whole bunch of them
apes down here； an have been shootin them up into space for a long wile； but they says sue will
be best on this trip on account of she is a female an will be friendlier than a male ape； an also； this
will be her third space flight。 when i find this out； i am wonderin how e they gonna send us
way up there with the only experienced crew member bein a ape。 kind of makes you think； don'；t
it？
anyhow； we got to go thru all kinds of trainin before the flight。 they puttin us in cyclotrons
an spinnin us aroun； an in little rooms with no gravity an such as that。 an all day long they be
crammin my mind with shit they want me to remember； such as equations to figger the distance
between wherever we is； an wherever they want us to go； an how to get back again； all kinds of
crap like coaxiel coordinates； co sine putations； spheriod trigonometry； boolean algebra；
antilogarithms； fourier analysis； quadrats an matrix math。 they say i is to be the 〃backup〃 for the
backup puter。
i have writ a bunch of letters to jenny curran but all of them done e back 〃addressee
not known。〃 also i done wrote to my mama； an she send me back a long letter the gist of which
is 〃how can you do this to your po ole mama when she is in the po house an you is all she got lef
in the world？〃
i dared not tell her that i am facin a jail sentence if i don'；t； so i jus write her back an say not
to worry； on account of we has an experienced crew。
well； the big day finally e； an let me say this： i am not jus a little bit nervous— i am
scant haf to death！ even tho it was top secret； the story done leaked to the press and now we
gonna be on tv an all。
that mornin； somebody brung us the newspapers to show us how famous we was。 here is
some of the headlines：
〃woman； ape and idiot in next u。s。 space effort。〃
〃america launching odd messengers toward alien planets。〃
〃girl； goon； and gorilla to lift off today。〃
there was even one in the new yawk post that say； 〃up they go— but who'；s in charge？〃
the only one that sounded halfway nice was the headline in the new yawk times； which
say； 〃new space probe has varied crew。〃
well； as usual； everthing is all confusion from the minute we get up。 we go to get our
breakfast an somebody say； 〃they ain'；t sposed to eat no breakfast the day of the flight。〃 then
somebody else say； 〃yes we is；〃 an then somebody else say； 〃no they ain'；t；〃 an it go on like that
for a wile till ain'；t nobody hungry anymore。
they get us into our space suits an take us out there to the launchin pad in a little bus with
ole sue ridin in back in a cage。 the spaceship is about a hundrit stories tall an is all foamin an
hissin an steamin an look like it bout to eat us alive！ a elevator take us to the capsule we is to be
in； an they strap us in an load ole sue in her place in back。 then we wait。
an we wait some more。
an we wait some more。
an we wait some more。
all along； the spaceship be boilin an hissin an growlin an steamin。 somebody say a hundrit
million people out there watchin us on television。 i reckon they be waitin too。
anyhow； bout noon； somebody e up an knock on the spaceship door an say； we is
temporarily cancelin this mission till they get the spaceship fixed。
so we all get to go back down in the elevator again； me； sue； an major fritch。 she be the
only one moanin an bitchin； cause sue an me is very relieved。
our relief was not to last long； however。 bout