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urmured。 She took a bite of the pizza； looking down。 thoughtfully； and then took a drink。 She chewed
So； she said； finally looking up。 What s your favorite？ Bella was I supposed I should have expected something like that； but I hadn t。 always interesting； at the very least。 Mountain lion； I answered brusquely。 Ah； she said in a neutral tone。 Her heartbeat continued steady and even； as if we were discussing a favorite restaurant。 Fine； then。 If she wanted to act like this was nothing unusual Of course； we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting； I told her； my voice detached and clinical。 We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators ranging as far away as we need。 There s always plenty of deer and elk here； and they ll do； but where s the fun in that？ She listened with a politely interested expression； as if I were a teacher giving a lecture。 I had to smile。 Where indeed； she murmured calmly； taking another bite of pizza。 Early spring is Emmett s favorite bear season； I said； continuing with the lecture。 They re just ing out of hibernation； so they re more irritable。 Seventy years later； and he still hadn t gotten over losing that first match。 Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear； Bella agreed； nodding solemnly。 I couldn t hold back a chuckle as I shook my head at her illogical calm。 to be put on。 Tell me what you re really thinking； please。 It had I m trying to picture it but I can t； she said； the crease appearing between her eyes。 How to you hunt a bear without weapons？ Oh； we have weapons； I told her； and then flashed her a wide smile。 I expected her to recoil； but she was very still； watching me。 Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws。 If you ve ever seen a bear attack on television； you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting。 She glanced toward the table where the others sat； and shuddered。 Finally。 And then I laughed at myself； because I knew part of me was wishing she would stay oblivious。 Her dark eyes were wide and deep as she stared at me now。 too？ she asked in an almostwhisper。 Are you like a bear； More like the lion； or so they tell me； I told her； striving to sound detached again。 Perhaps our preferences are indicative。 Her lips pulled up a tiny bit at the corners。 Perhaps； she repeated。 And then her head leaned to the side； and curiosity was suddenly clear in her eyes。 Is that something I might get to see？ I didn t need pictures from Alice to illustrate this horror my imagination was quite enough。
Absolutely not； I snarled at her。 She jerked away from me； her eyes bewildered and frightened。 I leaned back； too； wanting to put space between us。 She was never going to see； was she？ She wouldn t do one thing to help me keep her alive。 Too scary for me？ she asked； her voice even。 moving in double time。 Her heart； however； was still If that were it； I would take you out tonight； I retorted through my teeth。 You need a healthy dose of fear。 Nothing could be more beneficial for you。 Then why？ she demanded； undeterred。 I glared at her blackly； waiting for her to be afraid。 I was afraid。 imagine only too clearly having Bella near when I hunted Her eyes remained curious； impatient； nothing more。 not giving in。 But our hour was up。 Later； I snapped； and I rose to my feet。 We re going to be late。 I could She waited for her answer； She looked around herself； disoriented； like she d forgotten we were at lunch。 Like she d forgotten we were even at school surprised that we were not alone in some private place。 I understood that feeling exactly。 It was hard to remember the rest of the world when I was with her。 She got up quickly； bobbling once； and threw her bag over her shoulder。 Later； then； she said； and I could see the determination in the set of her mouth； she would hold me to that。
12。 plications Bella and I walked silently to biology。 I was trying to focus myself on the moment； on the girl beside me； on what was real and solid； on anything that would keep Alice s deceitful； meaningless visions out of my head。 We passed Angela Weber； lingering on the sidewalk； discussing an assignment with a boy from her Trigonometry class。 I scanned her thoughts perfunctorily； expecting more disappointment； only to be surprised by their wistful tenor。 Ah； so there was something Angela wanted。 could be easily giftwrapped。 Unfortunately； it wasn t something that I felt strangely forted for a moment； hearing Angela s hopeless yearning。 A sense of kinship that Angela would never know about passed through me； and I was； in that second； at one with the kind human girl。 It was oddly consoling to know that I wasn t the only one living out a tragic love story。 Heartbreak was everywhere。 In the next second； I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated。 Because Angela s story didn t have to be tragic。 She was human and he was human and the difference that seemed so insurmountable in her head was ridiculous； truly ridiculous pared to my own situation。 There was no point in her broken heart。 What a wasteful sadness； when there was no valid reason for her not to be with the one she wanted。 Why shouldn t she have what she wanted？ Why shouldn t this one story have a happy ending？ I wanted to give her a gift Well； I would give her what she wanted。 Knowing what I did of human nature； it probably wouldn t even be very difficult。 I sifted through the consciousness of the boy beside her； the object of her affections； and he did not seem unwilling； he was just stymied by the same difficulty she was。 Hopeless and resigned； the way she was。 All I would have to do was plant the suggestion The plan formed easily； the script wrote itself without effort on my part。 I would need Emmett s help getting him to go along with this was the only real difficulty。 Human nature was so much easier to manipulate than vampire nature。 I was pleased with my solution； with my gift for Angela。 It was a nice diversion from my own problems。 Would that mine were as easily fixed。 My mood was slightly improved as Bella and I took our seats。 Maybe I should be more positive。 Maybe there was some solution out there for us that was escaping me； the way Angela s obvious solution was so invisible to her。 N