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resembled Elizabeth’s。 She made her knees a fortable
rest for his head； and ran her fingers through his hair。
“I should like Mary to stroke my head like that；” Ralph
thought to himself suddenly； and he looked at Christopher；
almost affectionately； for calling forth his sister’s
caresses。 Instantly he thought of Katharine； the thought
of her being surrounded by the spaces of night and the
open air； and Mary； watching him； saw the lines upon his
forehead suddenly deepen。 He stretched out an arm and
placed a log upon the fire； constraining himself to fit it
carefully into the frail red scaffolding； and also to limit
his thoughts to this one room。
Mary had ceased to stroke her brother’s head； he moved
it impatiently between her knees； and； much as though
he were a child； she began once more to part the thick；
reddishcolored locks this way and that。 But a far stronger
passion had taken possession of her soul than any
her brother could inspire in her； and； seeing Ralph’s change
of expression； her hand almost automatically continued
its movements； while her mind plunged desperately for
some hold upon slippery banks。
CHAPTER XVI
Into that same black night； almost； indeed； into the very
same layer of starlit air； Katharine Hilbery was now gazing；
although not with a view to the prospects of a fine
day for duck shooting on the morrow。 She was walking up
and down a gravel path in the garden of Stogdon House；
her sight of the heavens being partially intercepted by
the light leafless hoops of a pergola。 Thus a spray of
clematis would pletely obscure Cassiopeia； or blot
out with its black pattern myriads of miles of the Milky
Way。 At the end of the pergola； however； there was a
stone seat； from which the sky could be seen pletely
swept clear of any earthly interruption； save to the right；
indeed； where a line of elmtrees was beautifully sprinkled
with stars； and a low stable building had a full drop of
quivering silver just issuing from the mouth of the chimney。
It was a moonless night； but the light of the stars
was sufficient to show the outline of the young woman’s
form； and the shape of her face gazing gravely； indeed
almost sternly； into the sky。 She had e out into the
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Virginia Woolf
winter’s night； which was mild enough； not so much to
look with scientific eyes upon the stars； as to shake herself
free from certain purely terrestrial discontents。 Much
as a literary person in like circumstances would begin；
absentmindedly； pulling out volume after volume； so she
stepped into the garden in order to have the stars at
hand； even though she did not look at them。 Not to be
happy； when she was supposed to be happier than she
would ever be again—that； as far as she could see； was
the origin of a discontent which had begun almost as
soon as she arrived； two days before； and seemed now so
intolerable that she had left the family party； and e
out here to consider it by herself。 It was not she who
thought herself unhappy； but her cousins； who thought it
for her。 The house was full of cousins； much of her age； or
even younger； and among them they had some terribly
bright eyes。 They seemed always on the search for something
between her and Rodney； which they expected to
find； and yet did not find； and when they searched；
Katharine became aware of wanting what she had not
been conscious of wanting in London； alone with William
and her parents。 Or； if she did not want it； she missed it。
And this state of mind depressed her； because she had
been accustomed always to give plete satisfaction；
and her selflove was now a little ruffled。 She would have
liked to break through the reserve habitual to her in order
to justify her engagement to some one whose opinion
she valued。 No one had spoken a word of criticism；
but they left her alone with William； not that that would
have mattered； if they had not left her alone so politely；
and； perhaps； that would not have mattered if they had
not seemed so queerly silent； almost respectful； in her
presence； which gave way to criticism； she felt； out of it。
Looking now and then at the sky； she went through the
list of her cousins’ names： Eleanor； Humphrey； Marmaduke；
Silvia； Henry； Cassandra； Gilbert； and Mostyn—Henry； the
cousin who taught the young ladies of Bungay to play
upon the violin； was the only one in whom she could
confide； and as she walked up and down beneath the
hoops of the pergola； she did begin a little speech to
him； which ran something like this：
“To begin with； I’m very fond of William。 You can’t deny
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that。 I know him better than any one； almost。 But why
I’m marrying him is； partly； I admit—I’m being quite
honest with you； and you mustn’t tell any one—partly
because I want to get married。 I want to have a house of
my own。 It isn’t possible at home。 It’s all very well for
you； Henry； you can go your own way。 I have to be there
always。 Besides； you know what our house is。 You wouldn’t
be happy either； if you didn’t do something。 It isn’t that
I haven’t the time at home—it’s the atmosphere。” Here；
presumably； she imagined that her cousin； who had listened
with his usual intelligent sympathy； raised his eyebrows
a little； and interposed：
“Well； but what do you want to do？”
Even in this purely imaginary dialogue； Katharine found
it difficult to confide her ambition to an imaginary panion。
“I should like；” she began； and hesitated quite a long
time before she forced herself to add； with a change of
voice； “to study mathematics—to know about the stars。”
Henry was clearly amazed； but too kind to express all
his doubts； he only said something about the difficulties
of mathematics； and remarked that very little was known
about the stars。
Katharine thereupon went on with the statement of her
case。
“I don’t care much whether I ever get to know anything—
but I want to work out something in figures—
something that hasn’t got to do with human beings。 I
don’t want people parti