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upon the pavement； and the glimpse which halfdrawn
15
Night and Day
curtains offered him of kitchens； diningrooms； and draw
ingrooms； illustrating with mute power different scenes
from different lives； his own experience lost its sharpness。
His own experience underwent a curious change。 His
speed slackened； his head sank a little towards his breast；
and the lamplight shone now and again upon a face grown
strangely tranquil。 His thought was so absorbing that
when it became necessary to verify the name of a street；
he looked at it for a time before he read it； when he came
to a crossing； he seemed to have to reassure himself by
two or three taps； such as a blind man gives； upon the
curb； and； reaching the Underground station； he blinked
in the bright circle of light； glanced at his watch； decided
that he might still indulge himself in darkness； and
walked straight on。
And yet the thought was the thought with which he
had started。 He was still thinking about the people in the
house which he had left； but instead of remembering；
with whatever accuracy he could； their looks and sayings；
he had consciously taken leave of the literal truth。
A turn of the street； a firelit room； something monumen
tal in the procession of the lampposts； who shall say
what accident of light or shape had suddenly changed
the prospect within his mind； and led him to murmur
aloud：
“She’ll do… 。 Yes； Katharine Hilbery’ll do… 。 I’ll take
Katharine Hilbery。”
As soon as he had said this； his pace slackened； his
head fell； his eyes became fixed。 The desire to justify
himself； which had been so urgent； ceased to torment
him； and； as if released from constraint； so that they
worked without friction or bidding； his faculties leapt
forward and fixed； as a matter of course； upon the form
of Katharine Hilbery。 It was marvellous how much they
found to feed upon； considering the destructive nature
of Denham’s criticism in her presence。 The charm； which
he had tried to disown； when under the effect of it； the
beauty； the character； the aloofness； which he had been
determined not to feel； now possessed him wholly； and
when； as happened by the nature of things； he had exhausted
his memory； he went on with his imagination。
He was conscious of what he was about； for in thus dwell
16
Virginia Woolf
ing upon Miss Hilbery’s qualities； he showed a kind of
method； as if he required this vision of her for a particular
purpose。 He increased her height； he darkened her
hair； but physically there was not much to change in her。
His most daring liberty was taken with her mind； which；
for reasons of his own； he desired to be exalted and infallible；
and of such independence that it was only in the
case of Ralph Denham that it swerved from its high； swift
flight； but where he was concerned； though fastidious at
first； she finally swooped from her eminence to crown
him with her approval。 These delicious details； however；
were to be worked out in all their ramifications at his
leisure； the main point was that Katharine Hilbery would
do； she would do for weeks； perhaps for months。 In taking
her he had provided himself with something the lack
of which had left a bare place in his mind for a considerable
time。 He gave a sigh of satisfaction； his consciousness
of his actual position somewhere in the neighborhood
of Knightsbridge returned to him； and he was soon
speeding in the train towards Highgate。
Although thus supported by the knowledge of his new
possession of considerable value； he was not proof against
the familiar thoughts which the suburban streets and the
damp shrubs growing in front gardens and the absurd
names painted in white upon the gates of those gardens
suggested to him。 His walk was uphill； and his mind dwelt
gloomily upon the house which he approached； where he
would find six or seven brothers and sisters； a widowed
mother； and； probably； some aunt or uncle sitting down
to an unpleasant meal under a very bright light。 Should
he put in force the threat which； two weeks ago； some
such gathering had wrung from him—the terrible threat
that if visitors came on Sunday he should dine alone in
his room？ A glance in the direction of Miss Hilbery determined
him to make his stand this very night； and accordingly；
having let himself in； having verified the presence
of Uncle Joseph by means of a bowler hat and a very
large umbrella； he gave his orders to the maid； and went
upstairs to his room。
He went up a great many flights of stairs； and he noticed；
as he had very seldom noticed； how the carpet
became steadily shabbier； until it ceased altogether； how
17
Night and Day
the walls were discolored； sometimes by cascades of damp；
and sometimes by the outlines of pictureframes since
removed； how the paper flapped loose at the corners；
and a great flake of plaster had fallen from the ceiling。
The room itself was a cheerless one to return to at this
inauspicious hour。 A flattened sofa would； later in the
evening； bee a bed； one of the tables concealed a
washing apparatus； his clothes and boots were disagreeably
mixed with books which bore the gilt of college arms；
and； for decoration； there hung upon the wall photographs
of bridges and cathedrals and large； unprepossessing
groups of insufficiently clothed young men； sitting
in rows one above another upon stone steps。 There
was a look of meanness and shabbiness in the furniture
and curtains； and nowhere any sign of luxury or even of a
cultivated taste； unless the cheap classics in the bookcase
were a sign of an effort in that direction。 The only
object that threw any light upon the character of the
room’s owner was a large perch； placed in the window to
catch the air and sun； upon which a tame and； apparently；
decrepit rook hopped dryly from side to side。 The
bird； encouraged by a scratch behind the ear； settled upon
Denham’s shoulder。 He lit his gasfire and settled down
in gloomy patience to await his dinner。 After sitting thus
for some minutes a small g