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supposed to be about forty centimeters here〃—she ran her finger right down the middle of her bulging
stomach—〃when the baby is fully grown。 One centimeter for every week。 I was thirty this morning； and
I've been gaining about two centimeters a day； sometimes more___〃
Two weeks to a day； the days flying by。 Her life speeding by in fastforward。 How many days did that
give her； if she was counting to forty？ Four？ It took me a minute to figure out how to swallow。
〃You okay？〃 she asked。
I nodded； not really sure how my voice would e out。
Edward's face was turned away from us as he listened to my thoughts； but I could see his reflection in
the glass
wall。 He was the burning man again。
Funny how having a deadline made it harder to think about leaving； or having her leave。 I was glad
Seth'd brought that up； so I knew they were staying here。 It would be intolerable； wondering if they were
about to go； to take away one or two or three of those four days。 My four days。
Also funny how； even knowing that it was almost over； the hold she had on me only got harder to break。
Almost like it was related to her expanding belly—as if by getting bigger； she was gaining gravitational
force。
For a minute I tried to look at her from a distance； to separate myself from the pull。 I knew it wasn't my
imagination that my need for her was stronger than ever。 Why was that？ Because she was dying？ Or
knowing that even if she didn't； still—best case scenario—she'd be changing into something else that I
wouldn't know or understand？
She ran her finger across my cheekbone； and my skin was wet where she touched it。
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〃It's going to be okay；〃 she sort of crooned。 It didn't matter that the words meant nothing。 She said it the
way people sang those senseless nursery rhymes to kids。 Rockabye； baby。
〃Right；〃 I muttered。
She curled against my arm； resting her head on my shoulder。 〃I didn't think you would e。 Seth said
you would； and so did Edward； but I didn't believe them。〃
〃Why not？〃 I asked gruffly。
〃You're not happy here。 But you came anyway。〃
〃You wanted me here。〃
〃I know。 But you didn't have to e； because it's not fair for me to want you here。 I would have
understood。〃
It was quiet for a minute。 Edward'd put his face back together。 He looked at the TV as Rosalie went on
flipping through the channels。 She was into the six hundreds。 I wondered how long it would take to get
back to the beginning。
〃Thank you for ing；〃 Bella whispered。
〃Can I ask you something？〃 I asked。
〃Of course。〃
Edward didn't look like he was paying attention to us at all； but he knew what I was about to ask； so he
didn't fool me。
〃Why do you want me here？ Seth could keep you warm； and he's probably easier to be around； happy
little punk。 But when walk in the door； you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world。〃
〃You're one of them。〃
〃That sucks； you know。〃
〃Yeah。〃 She sighed。 〃Sorry。〃
〃Why； though？ You didn't answer that。〃
Edward was looking away again； like he was staring out the windows。 His face was blank in the
reflection。
〃It feels。。。 plete when you're here； Jacob。 Like all my family is together。 I mean； I guess that's what
it's
like—I've never had a big family before now。 It's nice。〃 She smiled for half a second。 〃But it's just not
whole unless you're here。〃
〃I'll never be part of your family； Bella。〃
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I could have been。 I would have been good there。 But that was just a distant future that died long before
it had a chance to live。
〃You've always been a part of my family；〃 she disagreed。
My teeth made a grinding sound。 'That's a crap answer。〃
〃What's a good one？〃
〃How about； 'Jacob； I get a kick out of your pain。'〃
I felt her flinch。
〃You'd like that better？〃 she whispered。
〃It's easier； at least。 I could wrap my head around it。 I could deal with it。〃
I looked back down at her face then； so close to mine。 Her eyes were shut and she was frowning。 〃We
got off track； Jake。 Out of balance。 You're supposed to be part of my life—I can feel that； and so can
you。〃 She paused for a second without opening her eyes—like she was waiting for me to deny it。 When I
didn't say anything； she went on。 〃But not like this。 We did something wrong。 No。 I did。 I did something
wrong； and we got off track___〃
Her voice trailed off； and the frown on her face relaxed until it was just a little pucker at the corner of her
lips。 I waited for her to pour some more lemon juice into my paper cuts； but then a soft snore came from
the back of her throat。
〃She's exhausted；〃 Edward murmured。 〃It's been a long day。 A hard day。 I think she would have gone to
sleep earlier； but she was waiting for you。〃
I didn't look at him。
〃Seth said it broke another of her ribs。〃
〃Yes。 It's making it hard for her to breathe。〃
〃Great。〃
〃Let me know when she gets hot again。〃
〃Yeah。〃
She still had goose bumps on the arm that wasn't touching mine。 I'd barely raised my head to look for a
blanket when Edward snagged one draped over the arm of the sofa and flung it out so that it settled over
her。
Occasionally； the mindreading thing saved time。 For example； maybe I wouldn't have to make a big
production out of the accusation about what was going on with Charlie。 That mess。 Edward would just
hear exactly how furious—
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〃Yes；〃 he agreed。 〃It's not a good idea。〃
〃Then why？〃 Why was Bella telling her father she was on the mend when it would only make him more
miserable？
〃She can't bear his anxiety。〃
〃So it's better—〃
〃No。 It's not better。 But I'm not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now。
Whatever happens； this makes her feel better。 I'll deal with the rest afterward。〃
That didn't sound right。 Bella wouldn't just shuffle Charlie's pain off to some later