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“Did you really mean that？”
“Yes。”
It felt too simple — he had to see it ing。
“So easy that you could sit out？”
After a long moment of silence； I finally looked up at his expression。
The poker face was back。
I took a deep breath。 “So it’s one way or the other。 Either there is more danger than you want me to
know about； in which case it would be right for me to be there； to do what I can to help。 Or 。 。 。 it’s going to
be so easy that they’ll get by without you。 Which way is it？”
He didn’t speak。
I knew what he was thinking of — the same thing I was thinking of。 Carlisle。 Esme。 Emmett。 Rosalie。
Jasper。 And 。 。 。 I forced myself to think the last name。 And Alice。
I wondered if I was a monster。 Not the kind that he thought he was； but the real kind。 The kind that hurt
people。 The kind that had no limits when it came to what they wanted。
What I wanted was to keep him safe； safe with me。 Did I have a limit to what I would do； what I would
sacrifice for that？ I wasn’t sure。
“You ask me to let them fight without my help？” he said in a quiet voice。
“Yes。” I was surprised I could keep my voice even； I felt so wretched inside。 “Or to let me be there。
Either way； so long as we’re together。”
He took a deep breath； and then exhaled slowly。 He moved his hands to place them on either side of my
face； forcing me to meet his gaze。 He looked into my eyes for a long time。 I wondered what he was looking
for； and what it was that he found。 Was the guilt as thick on my face as it was in my stomach — sickening me？
His eyes tightened against some emotion I couldn’t read； and he dropped one hand to pull out his phone
again。
“Alice；” he sighed。 “Could you e babysit Bella for a bit？” He raised one eyebrow； daring me to object
to the word。 “I need to speak with Jasper。”
She evidently agreed。 He put the phone away and went back to staring at my face。
“What are you going to say to Jasper？” I whispered。
“I’m going to discuss 。 。 。 me sitting out。”
It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him。
“I’m sorry。”
I was sorry。 I hated to make him do this。 Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on ahead
without me。 Definitely not that much。
“Don’t apologize；” he said； smiling just a little。 “Never be afraid to tell me how you feel； Bella。 If this is
what you need 。 。 。” He shrugged。 “You are my first priority。”
“I didn’t mean it that way — like you have to choose me over your family。”
“I know that。 Besides； that’s not what you asked。 You gave me two alternatives that you could live with；
and I chose the one that I could live with。 That’s how promise is supposed to work。”
I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest。 “Thank you；” I whispered。
“Anytime；” he answered； kissing my hair。 “Anything。”
We didn’t move for a long moment。 I kept my face hidden； pressed against his shirt。 Two voices struggled
inside me。 One that wanted to be good and brave； and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut。
“Who’s the third wife？” he asked me suddenly。
“Huh？” I said； stalling。 I didn’t remember having had that dream again。
“You were mumbling something about ‘the third wife’ last night。 The rest made a little sense； but you lost
me there。”
“Oh。 Um； yeah。 That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night。” I shrugged。 “I
guess it stuck with me。”
Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side； probably confused by the unfortable
edge to my voice。
Before he could ask； Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression。
“You’re going to miss all the fun；” she grumbled。
“Hello； Alice；” he greeted her。 He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me goodbye。
“I’ll be back later tonight；” he promised me。 “I’ll go work this out with the others； rearrange things。”
“Okay。”
“There’s not much to arrange；” Alice said。 “I already told them。 Emmett is pleased。”
Edward sighed。 “Of course he is。”
He walked out the door； leaving me to face Alice。
She glared at me。
“I’m sorry；” I apologized again。 “Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you？”
She snorted。 “You worry too much； Bella。 You’re going to go prematurely gray。”
“Why are you upset； then？”
“Edward is such a grouch when he doesn’t get his way。 I’m just anticipating living with him for the next
few months。” She made a face。 “I suppose； if it keeps you sane； it’s worth it。 But I wish you could control the
pessimism； Bella。 It’s so unnecessary。”
“Would you let Jasper go without you？” I demanded。
Alice grimaced。 “That’s different。”
“Sure it is。”
“Go clean yourself up；” she ordered me。 “Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes； and if you look this
ragged he’s not going to want to let you out again。”
Wow； I’d really lost the whole day。 It felt like such a waste。 I was glad I wouldn’t always have to
squander my time with sleeping。
I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home — fully dressed； hair decent； and in the kitchen putting
his dinner on the table。 Alice sat in Edward’s usual place； and this seemed to make Charlie’s day。
“Howdy； Alice！ How are you； hon？”
“I’m fine； Charlie； thanks。”
“I see you finally made it out of bed； sleepyhead；” he said to me as I sat beside him； before turning back to
Alice。 “Everyone’s talking about that party your parents threw last night。 I’ll bet you’ve got one heck of a
cleanup job ahead of you。”
Alice shrugged。 Knowing her； it was already done。
“It was worth it；” she said。 “It was a great party。”
“Where’s Edward？” Charlie asked； a little grudgingly。 “Is he helping clean up？”
Alice sighed and her face turned tragic。 It was probably an act； but it was too perfect for me to be
positive。 “No。 He’s off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle。”
“Hikingagain？”
Alice nodded； her face suddenly forlorn。 “Yes。 They’re all going； except me。 We always go backpacking
at the end of the school year； sort of a celebration； but this year I decided I’d rather sh