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had occurred； so he was hesitant。 And he was loath to steal anyone's life
the way his had been stolen。 It was in that frame of mind that he found
me。 There was no hope for me； I was left in a ward with the dying。 He had
nursed my parents； and knew I was alone。 He decided to try…〃
His voice； nearly a whisper now； trailed off。 He stared unseeingly
through the west windows。 I wondered which images filled his mind now；
Carlisle's memories or his own。 I waited quietly。
When he turned back to me； a gentle angel's smile lit his expression。
〃And so we've e full circle；〃 he concluded。
〃Have you always stayed with Carlisle； then？〃 I wondered。
〃Almost always。〃 He put his hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with
him as he walked through the door。 I stared back at the wall of pictures；
wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories。
Edward didn't say any more as we walked down the hall； so I asked；
〃Almost？〃
He sighed； seeming reluctant to answer。 〃Well； I had a typical bout of
rebellious adolescence — about ten years after I was… born… created；
whatever you want to call it。 I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence；
and I resented him for curbing my appetite。 So I went off on my own for a
time。〃
〃Really？〃 I was intrigued； rather than frightened； as I perhaps should
have been。
He could tell。 I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight
of stairs； but I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings。
〃That doesn't repulse you？〃
〃No。〃
〃Why not？〃
〃I guess… it sounds reasonable。〃
He barked a laugh； more loudly than before。 We were at the top of the
stairs now； in another paneled hallway。
〃From the time of my new birth；〃 he murmured； 〃I had the advantage of
knowing what everyone around me was thinking； both human and nonhuman
alike。 That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle — I could read
his perfect sincerity； understand exactly why he lived the way he did。
〃It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and remit to his
vision。 I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that
acpanies a conscience。 Because I knew the thoughts of my prey； I could
pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil。 If I followed a murderer
down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl — if I saved her； then
surely I wasn't so terrible。〃
I shivered； imagining only too clearly what he described — the alley at
night； the frightened girl； the dark man behind her。 And Edward； Edward
as he hunted； terrible and glorious as a young god； unstoppable。 Would
she have been grateful； that girl； or more frightened than before？
〃But as time went on； I began to see the monster in my eyes。 I couldn't
escape the debt of so much human life taken； no matter how justified。 And
I went back to Carlisle and Esme。 They weled me back like the
prodigal。 It was more than I deserved。〃
We'd e to a stop in front of the last door in the hall。
〃My room；〃 he informed me； opening it and pulling me through。
His room faced south； with a wallsized window like the great room below。
The whole back side of the house must be glass。 His view looked down on
the winding Sol Duc River； across the untouched forest to the Olympic
Mountain range。 The mountains were much closer than I would have believed。
The western wall was pletely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs。
His room was better stocked than a music store。 In the corner was a
sophisticatedlooking sound system； the kind I was afraid to touch
because I'd be sure to break something。 There was no bed； only a wide and
inviting black leather sofa。 The floor was covered with a thick golden
carpet； and the walls were hung with heavy fabric in a slightly darker
shade。
〃Good acoustics？〃 I guessed。
He chuckled and nodded。
He picked up a remote and turned the stereo on。 It was quiet； but the
soft jazz number sounded like the band was in the room with us。 I went to
look at his mindboggling music collection。
〃How do you have these organized？〃 I asked； unable to find any rhyme or
reason to the titles。
He wasn't paying attention。
〃Ummm； by year； and then by personal preference within that frame；〃 he
said absently。
I turned； and he was looking at me with a peculiar expression in his eyes。
〃What？〃
〃I was prepared to feel… relieved。 Having you know about everything； not
needing to keep secrets from you。 But I didn't expect to feel more than
that。 I like it。 It makes me… happy。〃 He shrugged； smiling slightly。
〃I'm glad；〃 I said； smiling back。 I'd worried that he might regret
telling me these things。 It was good to know that wasn't the case。
But then； as his eyes dissected my expression； his smile faded and his
forehead creased。
〃You're still waiting for the running and the screaming； aren't you？〃 I
guessed。
A faint smile touched his lips； and he nodded。
〃I hate to burst your bubble； but you're really not as scary as you think
you are。 I don't find you scary at all； actually；〃 I lied casually。
He stopped； raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief。 Then he flashed a
wide； wicked smile。
〃You really shouldn't have said that；〃 he chuckled。
He growled； a low sound in the back of his throat； his lips curled back
over his perfect teeth。 His body shifted suddenly； halfcrouched； tensed
like a lion about to pounce。
I backed away from him； glaring。
〃You wouldn't。〃
I didn't see him leap at me — it was much too fast。 I only found myself
suddenly airborne； and then we crashed onto the sofa； knocking it into
the wall。 All the while； his arms formed an iron cage of protection
around me — I was barely jostled。 But I still was gasping as I tried to
right myself。
He wasn't having that。 He curled me into a ball against his chest；
holding me more securely than iron chains。 I glared at him in alarm； but
he seemed well in control； his jaw relaxed as he grinned； his eyes bright
only with humor。
〃You were saying？〃 he growled playfully。
〃That you are a very； very terrifying monster；〃 I said； my sarcasm marred
a bit by my breathless voice。
〃M