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〃You stole a car？〃 I raised my eyebrows。
He smiled； unrepentant。 〃It was a good car； very fast。〃
〃How was your nap？〃 I asked。
〃Interesting。〃 His eyes narrowed。
〃What？〃
He looked down while he answered。 〃I'm surprised。 I thought Florida… and
your mother… well； I thought that's what you would want。〃
I stared at him unprehendingly。 〃But you'd be stuck inside all day in
Florida。 You'd only be able to e out at night； just like a real
vampire。〃
He almost smiled； but not quite。 And then his face was grave。 〃I would
stay in Forks； Bella。 Or somewhere like it；〃 he explained。 〃Someplace
where I couldn't hurt you anymore。〃
It didn't sink in at first。 I continued to stare at him blankly as the
words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle。 I
was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating； though； as my
breathing became hyperventilation； I was aware of the sharp aching in my
protesting ribs。
He didn't say anything； he watched my face warily as the pain that had
nothing to do with broken bones； pain that was infinitely worse；
threatened to crush me。
And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room。 Edward sat
still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before
turning to the monitors。
〃Time for more pain meds； sweetheart？〃 she asked kindly； tapping the IV
feed。
〃No； no；〃 I mumbled； trying to keep the agony out of my voice。 〃I don't
need anything。〃 I couldn't afford to close my eyes now。
〃No need to be brave； honey。 It's better if you don't get too stressed
out； you need to rest。〃 She waited； but I just shook my head。
〃Okay；〃 she sighed。 〃Hit the call button when you're ready。〃
She gave Edward a stern look； and threw one more anxious glance at the
machinery； before leaving。
His cool hands were on my face； I stared at him with wild eyes。
〃Shhh； Bella； calm down。〃
〃Don't leave me；〃 I begged in a broken voice。
〃I won't；〃 he promised。 〃Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate
you。〃
But my heart couldn't slow。
〃Bella。〃 He stroked my face anxiously。 〃I'm not going anywhere。 I'll be
right here as long as you need me。〃
〃Do you swear you won't leave me？〃 I whispered。 I tried to control the
gasping； at least。 My ribs were throbbing。
He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to
mine。 His eyes were wide and serious。 〃I swear。〃
The smell of his breath was soothing。 It seemed to ease the ache of my
breathing。 He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and
the beeping returned to a normal pace。 His eyes were dark； closer to
black than gold today。
〃Better？〃 he asked。
〃Yes；〃 I said cautiously。
He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible。 I thought I
picked out the word 〃overreaction。〃
〃Why did you say that？〃 I whispered； trying to keep my voice from
shaking。 〃Are you tired of having to save me all the time？ Do you want me
to go away？〃
〃No； I don't want to be without you； Bella； of course not。 Be rational。
And I have no problem with saving you； either — if it weren't for the
fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I'm the reason that
you're here。〃
〃Yes； you are the reason。〃 I frowned。 〃The reason I'm here — alive。〃
〃Barely。〃 His voice was just a whisper。 〃Covered in gauze and plaster and
hardly able to move。〃
〃I wasn't referring to my most recent neardeath experience；〃 I said；
growing irritated。 〃I was thinking of the others — you can take your
pick。 If it weren't for you； I would be rotting away in the Forks
cemetery。〃
He winced at my words； but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes。
〃That's not the worst part； though；〃 he continued to whisper。 He acted as
if I hadn't spoken。 〃Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and
broken。〃 His voice was choked。 〃Not thinking I was too late。 Not even
hearing you scream in pain — all those unbearable memories that I'll
carry with me for the rest of eternity。 No； the very worst was feeling…
knowing that I couldn't stop。 Believing that I was going to kill you
myself。〃
〃But you didn't。〃
〃I could have。 So easily。〃
I knew I needed to stay calm… but he was trying to talk himself into
leaving me； and the panic fluttered in my lungs； trying to get out。
〃Promise me；〃 I whispered。
〃What？〃
〃You know what。〃 I was starting to get angry now。 He was so stubbornly
determined to dwell on the negative。
He heard the change in my tone。 His eyes tightened。 〃I don't seem to be
strong enough to stay away from you； so I suppose that you'll get your
way… whether it kills you or not；〃 he added roughly。
〃Good。〃 He hadn't promised； though — a fact that I had not missed。 The
panic was only barely contained； I had no strength left to control the
anger。 〃You told me how you stopped… now I want to know why；〃 I demanded。
〃Why？〃 he repeated warily。
〃Why you did it。 Why didn't you just let the venom spread？ By now I would
be just like you。〃
Edward's eyes seemed to turn flat black； and I remembered that this was
something he'd never intended me to know。 Alice must have been
preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herself… or she'd been very
careful with her thoughts around him — clearly； he'd had no idea that
she'd filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions。 He was
surprised； and infuriated。 His nostrils flared； his mouth looked as if it
was chiseled from stone。
He wasn't going to answer； that much was clear。
〃I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with
relationships；〃 I said。 〃But it just seems logical… a man and woman have
to be somewhat equal… as in； one of them can't always be swooping in and
saving the other one。 They have to save each other equally。〃
He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms。
His expression was smooth； the anger reined in。 Evidently he'd decided he
wasn't angry with me。 I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he
caught up with her。
〃You have saved me；〃 he said quietly。
〃I can't always be Lois