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make me say it； are you？ I don't like hurting you。〃
〃I don't understand who you mean；〃 I repeated mechanically。
〃The Cullens；〃 he said slowly； drawing out the word； scrutinizing my face as he spoke it。 〃I saw that—I
can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name。〃
I shook my head back and forth in denial； trying to clear it at the same time。 How did he know this？ And
how did it have anything to do with Sam's cult？ Was it a gang of vampirehaters？ What was the point of
forming such a society when no vampires lived in Forks anymore？ Why would Jacob start believing the
stories about the Cullens now； when the evidence of them was long gone； never to return？
It took me too long to e up with the correct response。 〃Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's
superstitious nonsense now；〃 I said with a feeble attempt at mockery。
〃He knows more than I gave him credit for。〃
〃Be serious； Jacob。〃
He glared at me； his eyes critical。
〃Superstitions aside；〃 I said quickly。 〃I still don't see what you're accusing the。。。 Cullens〃—wince—〃of。
They left more than half a year ago。 How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now？〃
〃Sam isn't doing anything； Bella。 And I know they're gone。 But sometimes… things are set in motion； and
then it's too late。〃
〃What's set in motion？ What's too late？ What are you blaming them for？〃
He was suddenly right in my face； his fury glowing in his eyes。 〃For existing；〃 he hissed。
I was surprised and distracted as the warning words came in Edward's voice again； when I wasn't even
scared。
〃Quiet now； Bella。 Don't push him；〃 Edward cautioned in my ear。
Ever since Edward's name had broken through the careful walls I'd buried it behind； I'd been unable to
lock it up again。 It didn't hurt now—not during the precious seconds when I could hear his voice。
Jacob was fuming in front of me； quivering with anger。
I didn't understand why the Edward delusion was unexpectedly in my mind。 Jacob was livid； but he was
Jacob。 There was no adrenaline； no danger。
〃Give him a chance to calm down；〃 Edward's voice insisted。
I shook my head in confusion。 〃You're being ridiculous；〃 I told them both。
〃Fine；〃 Jacob answered； breathing deeply again。 〃I won't argue it with you。 It doesn't matter anyway； the
damage is done。〃
〃What damage？〃
He didn't flinch as I shouted the words in his face。
〃Let's head back。 There's nothing more to say。〃
I gaped。 〃There's everything more to say！ You haven't said anything yet！〃
He walked past me； striding back toward the house。
〃I ran into Quil today；〃 I yelled after him。
He paused midstep； but didn't turn。
〃You remember your friend； Quil？ Yeah； he's terrified。〃
Jacob whirled to face me。 His expression was pained。 〃Quil〃 was all he said。
〃He's worried about you； too。 He's freaked out。〃
Jacob stared past me with desperate eyes。
I goaded him further。 〃He's frightened that he's next。〃
Jacob clutched at a tree for support； his face turning a strange shade of green under the redbrown
surface。 〃He won't be next；〃 Jacob muttered to himself。 〃He can't be。 It's over now。 This shouldn't still be
happening。 Why？ Why？〃 His fist slammed against the tree。 It wasn't a big tree； slender and only a few
feet taller than Jacob。 But it still surprised me when tht trunk gave way and snapped off loudly under his
blows。
Jacob stared at the sharp； broken point with shock that quickly turned to horror。
〃I have to get back。〃 He whirled and stalked away so swiftly that I had to jog to keep up。
〃Back to Sam！〃
〃That's one way of looking at it；〃 it sounded like he said。 He was mumbling and facing away。
I chased him back to the truck。 〃Wait！〃 I called as he turned toward the house。
He spun around to face me； and I saw that his hands were shaking again。
〃Go home； Bella。 I can't hang out with you anymore。〃
The silly； inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent。 The tears welled up again。 〃Are you… breaking up
with me？〃 The words were all wrong； but they were the best way I could think to phrase what I was
asking。 After all； what Jake and I had was more than any schoolyard romance。 Stronger。
He barked out a bitter laugh。 〃Hardly。 If that were the case； I'd say 'Let's stay friends。' I can't even say
that。〃
〃Jacob… why？ Sam won't let you have other friends？ Please； Jake。 You promised。 I need you！〃 The
blank emptiness of my life before—before Jacob brought some semblance of reason back into
it—reared up and confronted me。 Loneliness choked in my throat。
〃I'm sorry； Bella；〃 Jacob said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didn't seem to belong to him。
I didn't believe that this was really what Jacob wanted to say。 It seemed like there was something else
trying to be said through his angry eyes； but I couldn't understand the message。
Maybe this wasn't about Sam at all。 Maybe this had nothing to do with the Cullens。 Maybe he was just
trying to pull himself out of a hopeless situation。 Maybe I should let him do that； if that's what was best for
him。 I should do that。 It would be right。
But I heard my voice escaping in a whisper。
〃I'm sorry that I couldn't… before… I wish I could change how I feel about you； Jacob。〃 I was
desperate； reaching； stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into the shape of a lie。 〃Maybe…
maybe I would change；〃 I whispered。 〃Maybe； if you gave me some time… just don't quit on me now；
Jake。 I can't take it。〃
His face went from anger to agony in a second。 One shaking hand reached out toward me。
〃No。 Don't think like that； Bella； please。 Don't blame yourself； don't think this is your fault。 This one is all
me。 I swear； it's not about you。〃
〃It's not you； it's me；〃 I whispered。 〃There's a new one。〃
〃I mean it； Bella。 I'm not…〃 he struggled； his voice going even huskier as he fought to control his emotion。
His eyes were tortured。 〃I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore； or anything else。 I'm not what I
was before。 I'm not good。〃
〃What？〃 I stared at him； confused and appalled。 〃What are you saying？ You're much better than I