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I saw him entering this room day after day； with a bed that remained empty； where he would never again feel his mother’s arms wrapped around his warm little body。
It was then that I realised the terrible encumbrance of parental love。 How it keeps us fettered to this life； held to ransom； so that we can’t even die gracefully； without our hearts being broken。
Since that day； I have only one prayer for myself： that I may live long enough to see my child able to get on without me。
My only child has just started boarding…school。 The house is painfully empty。 It was the boy himself who wanted to go； backed up by his father。
I resisted； with rational arguments and less rational emotions。 In the end I confronted my husband and asked him why he wanted to send our son away to school。 “Because I believe it would do him good；”was his straight answer。
In the sleepless night that followed； I had to admit that he was right。 By daybreak I had accepted that； whatever my own feelings； I had no right to hold up a process that would assist my child in his social and academic development。
And I remembered the lines my mother wrote in a notebook the day I left home to study in a foreign country：
When you were born；
I said to myself；
I shall never again be alone。
Little did I realise
that the infant I cradled in my arms
was given to me on loan；
to care for and prepare
for the day when I would hand her over；
to another life
that I can share
Motherhood 母性（3）
only from a distance。
‘Something only a mother could love。’ The phrase conjures up images of baby orang…utans； teenage hoodlums； repugnant monsters。
It does suggest that a mother’s love is blind； oblivious to chara…cter disorders； to ugliness and failings； when in reality it is the other way round： maternal love is extraordinarily perceptive。
When a mother looks upon her children； she sees not only what they are； but also what they may bee。 In her eyes； potential exceeds limitations。
She is aware of the best in each one even when it’s not apparent。 Her interpretations are kind； generous to a fault； always giving the benefit of the doubt。 It says a lot about human nature that； more often than not； she’s proved right。
Provided she is no stranger to warm and selfless feelings； a mother will love her children for all that is contained within them； or even； at times； in spite of it； remaining constant even in the worst scenarios。
When a child has contrived to destroy anything in it worthy of affection； its mother； with deep regret； will continue to love it； partly for what it was； partly for what it might have been。
At the age of seventy； my mother was badly injured in a motor accident。 I was reached by a message that she was on life support； both her legs were to be amputated。
“The poor woman；” said my well…meaning neighbour。 “Wouldn’t it be better if she was just left to die？”
Before her last operation； she was able to talk to me。 “I don’t know what I’m fighting for；”she said。 “What sort of life do I have to look forward to； even if I do survive？”
“That’s for you to decide；” I answered。 “Only you can tell whether life in a wheel…chair would still be worth living。”
She thought for a while about this； and then she stated： “What I value most is having my children。 Follow you as you grow older； see how your lives develop。 Be there for you when you need me。”
She survived。 She recovered。 Today； many years later； she lives alone； in an adapted flat； where her daily routine is much the same as usual。 Except； amazingly； she’s happier than before： enjoying a late blossoming。
With brand new friendships and interests to sustain her； she depends on no one； her life is her own。
But now and then she remembers that critical moment； when a mother’s love for her children made all the difference。
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Feelings 感觉（1）
2000年的爱尔兰，全国上下都被一个消息震惊了：在一些宗教机构中，居然发生着虐待儿童的事件。
尽管令人难以置信，但这都是真实的：我们社会中最脆弱的一群小生命，由于各种原因未能得到应有的爱、关怀和保护，却被囚禁在房子里，剥夺了身份，忍受着饥饿和痛苦，任凭掠夺者凌辱。
有关当局早就知道他们的状况，但是却没有采取什么行动。谁会在乎那些无足轻重的孩子们呢？他们甚至连投票权都没有！
这一令人不安的消息，被一个理由安抚了——这是很早以前就发生过的事情了，现在事情改变了。
而现在，我们社会中最脆弱的一群小生命，由于各种原因未能得到应有的爱、关怀和保护，却流落在街头，被剥夺了身份，忍受着饥饿和痛苦，任凭掠夺者凌辱。
有关当局早就知道他们的状况，但是却没有采取什么行动。谁会在乎那些无足轻重的孩子们呢？他们甚至连投票权都没有！
要让那些掌权的人意识到，这些可怜的小生命的命运是掌握在他们手中的，需要的不仅仅是公众的大声疾呼。
康涅马拉（Connemara）的一个旅馆经营者给郡上的管理者写了一封言辞激烈的信，抱怨说在他所在的地区，一个以美丽的自然风光而闻名的地方，一些主要道路的维修却偏偏被安排在旅游旺季进行。就算这种行为不是一种破坏，那也算是没有专业水准和极度缺乏专业敏感性的表现了。
郡上的工程师在回信中礼貌地、遗憾地解释道：鉴于爱尔兰的气候，他们没有别的办法，只能在夏季维修道路，因为只有在夏天，柏油才能干。
当那位旅馆主人给我讲述这个故事的时候，他笑了：“这么多年了，我一直生气、沮丧，但这一切却都是源于我的无知！”
这让我想起了我认识的一个男人，由于他妈妈身患癌症，要接受治疗，他8岁便被送到了乡下的亲戚家，但是为了不让孩子多心，没有人告诉过他被送走的理由，而他的童年一直沉浸在这一阴影中。
他几个星期都缓不过来，觉得自己一定是做了什么不可原谅的错事，才不能回家，不能得到父母的爱。即使长大后他知道是自己误解了，但那种被拒绝的感觉还是存在着。
想想就可怕，即使是在我们说着这些事情的时候，有多少的生命和关系，都被充满敌意、破坏性的感受侵蚀着，而这些仅仅源于误解。
只有每个人在允许某种情绪生根之前，确保自己得到的信息是正确的时候，这世界上才能少一些对着错误的对象号叫的傻瓜。
门铃响了。一个朋友走进来，脸色苍白，眼眶红红的，眼圈发黑，他的嘴唇颤抖着说：“她离开我了，”他痛哭着，好像字字都让他钻心地疼，“14年的美好婚姻啊，她就这么走了。”
我忍不住想到，他的妻子曾悄悄地对我说过，他们的婚姻对她而言就像是一座牢笼：一个紧锁的牢房，沉闷而让她窒息，无法接近阳光和新鲜空气。“我一定得逃出去�